


The Life We Never Got.

by Lycette_Jones



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Eating Disorders, F/M, If you are affected by any these tags please dont read. this is your WARNING!, Mention of Domestic Violence, OOCSnape, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Assault, Warning//Stillborn child mentioned, femalesnape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:13:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 42,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27726658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lycette_Jones/pseuds/Lycette_Jones
Summary: A pandemic is sweeping through the wizarding world. Harry Potter is stuck in Lockdown with one of the most feared professors or is he? Will they both learn to like each other? Will they become friends? most likely. Harry learns new secrets and reveals feeling for the most unexpected person. The writer of this story is losing her mind during this lockdown so please bear with her. Thank you!
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom/Draco Malfoy, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 14
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

Walking into 12 Grimmauld Place brought back memories I do not wish to remember. I walked to the dining room which is still being used for Order and The Phoenix meetings. I was asked to be here by Professor Mcgonagall. Apparently I was needed.   
“Oh Harry dear,Sit down.” Molly Weasley said gesturing to the seat next to Ron. I sat down and looked around. There was Professor Mcgonagall who is Headmistress at Hogwarts, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Bill Weasley, Hestia Jones, Arthur Weasley, Molly Weasley, Kingsley Shacklebolt and Charlie Weasley and someone else i have never seen before.  
“Thank you all for coming, I know this is all quite a shock. We have not had an order meeting in 5 years. Right, As you may have heard on Muggle news, There is a pandemic named Covid-19. Unfortunately in the wizarding world over 500 wizards have died due to complications of Covid-19. Since St Mungo's hospital has never seen anything like this virus, the ministry has decided to shut down Hogwarts until further notice and from tomorrow every wizard will be asked to self isolate until further notice to stop the spread of the virus.” Professor Mcgonagall said. The members round the table stayed quiet while staring at each other.   
“Professor, how does this virus spread?” The woman who i have never seen before asked.  
“Good question Sevira, the virus is spread by close proximity to other people,coughing and surfaces touched by those infected.” Professor Mcgonagall answered. Sevira? What an odd name. I looked at her and realised the similarities she has to my late Professor Snape. She has long black hair, sallow skin and black coloured eyes, the only difference is the lack of a hooked nose.   
“Why are we here then?” I asked, looking at the Headmistress.   
“Because Mr Potter,someone has to stay here and look after this place because all the House Elfs will be placed at Hogwarts. I was wondering if You and Sevira Prince will stay here? And I invited the rest of the order to inform them of the way forward during this pandemic.” She replied smiling slightly.  
“Why do I have to stay here with him?” Sevira asked.  
“You can’t keep going on this grudge you are staying here with Harry and that is the end of it” She said sternly. Obviously I don't get a choice in whether I want to stay or not. I stay quiet.  
“Harry,obviously it is your decision” She said.  
“Yeah i will stay, I have nothing else to do” I said looking around. 

The meeting ended and everyone left except me, Sevira and Professor Mcgonagall.   
“Right Harry, We need to have a little chat. Sevira please wait outside” Minerva said and Sevira rolled her eyes but left quietly.  
“I can tell she hates me” I said laughing slightly.   
“Well, after the war, I went to collect Severus Snape from the Shrieking Shack and he was still alive,barely but he was still there. However, We couldn’t save him as him but managed to find a cure for the snake venom but due to his injuries we had to use several potions however we gave him an incorrect potion which deaged him and changed his gender. We tried to reverse the potion but it was unsuccessful. So Sevira is Professor Snape.There is something you should know. Sevira has been diagnosed with anorexia, I noticed something wrong and forced her to go to St Mungos. But right now, she is in recovery so Can I ask you to take care of her?” She said.I nodded slowly.

Mcgonagall left and it was just me and Sevira. I feel weird that Sevira was my old professor/my mother's old friend. I stood up and looked around finding her. I went into the library room and found her sitting reading. I looked at the time and realized it was around dinner.   
“Sevira, What would you like to have for dinner?” I asked as nicely as I could.   
“I’m not hungry” She stated. I rolled my eyes.  
“I do recommend eating something but if you don’t want it i will leave it in a tub for you later.” I said leaving and going towards the kitchen. I wasn’t going to force her to eat as from personal experience it makes the recovery worse. I couldn’t help but feel the guilt I had towards her. She is the reason for me defeating the Dark Lord and I haven't apologised or thanked her. I turned the stove on and started cooking. 30 minutes into cooking I could hear the stairs creaking.  
“What are you making?” Sevira asked. I looked at her, she is already in her night clothes.  
“Pasta bolognese, do you want to help me cut the mushrooms?” I asked. She walked over and started chopping the mushrooms gently.   
“I didn’t know you could cook. You were awful at potions so i assumed you were awful at cooking” She said surprised.  
“Well, I am full of surprises. And you haven’t eaten it yet so it could be awful.” I said laughing a bit. She smiled. I have never seen Professor Snape smile so this is just odd.  
“I am sure it will be lovely.” She replied.  
“Wow, you never said anything nice when you were teaching me potions.” I said surprised.  
“Well... that is because I had a job to do.” She replied by pouring the mushrooms into the pot.  
“So, you don’t hate me then. That’s nice to know” I said, pouring the sauce in and stirring.  
“ I don’t hate you. I just don’t like you. There is a difference.” She replied sitting at the small table.i scoffed.  
“May i ask why you do not like me?” I asked.  
“I could ask you the same question.” She replied.  
“I don’t hate you at all, quite the opposite really. How can i dislike the person who saved my life and everyone in hogwarts.” I said plating dinner. I placed a plate in front of her and sat down to eat.  
“I was horrible to you throughout your school years.” She said playing with her food.  
“ I forgive you. And I am sorry for being such a brat” I said smiling.   
“Thank you. I am full” She said about to stand.   
“You barely touched it. Can you please eat some more” I pleaded.   
“No,I am not hungry,” She said looking at me.  
“Fine, but eat 5 more spoonfuls and I will let this go.” I said. She picked up her fork and began eating.

After dinner, Sevira eats half of it. So i felt happy about that. I sat in the living area reading. Sevira was sitting across from me.   
“Do you want a drink?” I asked standing.  
“Do we have any vodka?” She asks. I walk into the kitchen to see if we have any. There was a bottle of vodka but no mixer, I walked in with one glass and the bottle of vodka.  
“There was no mixer”. I said handing her the glass and the bottle. She placed the glass on the ground and opened the bottle drinking from it. Should I stop her? She stopped once the bottle was half done.  
“Are you feeling alright?” I am a bit worried.  
“Oh I am fantastic Harry.” She said and began drinking again until the bottles were finished. I sat there in shock. I should not have let her do that. I am an idiot!  
“You aren’t an idiot” She said, slurring her words.  
“Stop reading my mind.” I said walking towards her. She was slouched on the sofa.   
“Right, off to bed.” I said helping her up. Who gets drunk this easily? Her apparently.   
“Okaaaayyyy” She said. I helped her into her room and placed her on her bed. I pulled the duvet over her. “Stay” She said looking at me.  
“No I can’t.” I said walking towards the door.  
“Yes you can, I want you to,” She said, pouting.   
“May I ask why you wish me to stay with you?” I ask leaning on the door frame.  
“I don’t want to be alone. Please” she said.  
“Fine” I said knowing I will regret this in the morning. I walked towards her and slid in the bed next to her. Sevira placed her arm round me and fell asleep. 

The next morning, I woke up to the smell of bacon. I looked to find that Sevira was not there, I quickly walked to the kitchen to find Sevira cooking bacon.   
“Good Morning. How are you feeling?” I asked sitting down.   
“I actually feel good. I am making us bacon sandwiches as a thank you for you staying with me last night.” She said placing the sandwich in front of me. I noticed she had half on one. It is better than nothing so I did not comment on it.  
“ So, No hangover?” I ask looking at her.  
“You keep forgetting I was a potion master.” She said quickly, finishing her half sandwich.   
“Oh, I forgot you were. Must have left my mind” I said sarcastically and she only smirked.

We spent the first week talking and reading but inevitably I got bored so I ended up spring cleaning every room in the building.I ended starting in the kitchen, cleaning every cupboard and surface. I mopped the floors. I then cleaned the living area and then moved to the bedrooms upstairs. I asked Sevira if she would clean the library room and if i could clean out her room she reluctantly agreed to it. I started with mine which was never messy but decided to disinfect all the drawers and bed frames and picked up any stray clothes that didn’t fit in the washing basket. I walked into Sevira’s room expecting it to be clean but clothes were scattered everywhere. There was a god awful smell coming from somewhere. She knew i would be cleaning in here, maybe she forgot about it. I picked up all the clothes and dumped them in the washing basket. I disinfected the drawers,handles and bedframe. I then began to search for the stench. I looked in every drawer. Nothing. I then checked under her bed. There was a small basin. I pulled it out. I gagged at the overwhelming smell. It was sick. She was obviously throwing up everytime she ate something. I could feel the anger rising in me. I emptied the basin into the toilet across the hall and went to find Sevira.I walked into the library room to see Sevira stacking books.   
“Sevira, Do you want anything to eat?” I asked, folding my arms and leaning against the door frame.   
“No I am not hungry” She replied, stacking books. I sighed.  
“That’s surprising, considering that you have vomited all your food up” I said looking at her.  
“It has nothing to do with you” She replied glaring at me. I laughed mockingly.  
“It has everything to do with me” I said walking to her.  
“Please enlighten me then Potter,what does it have to do for you?” she said.  
“I… fine. I used to do that. I was diagnosed by a muggle doctor with Bulimia when I was 14 years old. Uncle Vernon only took me because I fainted while cooking their dinner the previous night. I hid my vomit in my cupboard but unfortunately was found by Dudley. From then on I tried my very best to recover from the disorder. No it wasn’t easy and there are still days where it gets bad but I don’t want you to feel you are alone in this. I will help you and I promise you will get better.” I said sitting next to her. She stared at me expressionless.  
“Did...Dumbledore know?” She asked nervously.  
“I am not sure but probably” I said.  
“Well, thank you for the story. I will continue cleaning.” She said returning to stacking the books.  
“We are having lasagna tonight.” I said before leaving bringing the washing basket to start the laundry. I cleaned the basin and placed it under the sink. 

Dinner was done. I made extra so we can have leftovers if I don’t want to cook anything. I shouted Sevira down. And we ate. I made sure she ate everything.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
It has been 2 weeks since lockdown. And it has been hard. Making sure Sevira eats and doesn’t throw it up after. It is not easy. I am trying to figure out what triggered her to vomit and not eating. For me I binged chocolate and sweets. Since Sevira is Anorexic, it is completely different. 

I walked into the living room to see Sevira exercising,she has been doing this since agreeing to getting better. I think it is her coping mechanism because she is eating everything I have given her.   
“Are you nearly done?” I asked sitting on the sofa. Sevira sighed and stood up and stretched.   
“Yeah I am done for now. Why?” She asked sitting next to me. I looked at her and smiled.  
“What have you eaten today?” I asked.   
“I have eaten cereal and had 4 glasses of water” She replied sighing.   
“That is not enough. It is 6pm and I told you to eat the leftovers.” I said sternly.   
“What have you eaten today Potter?” She asked mockingly.   
“I had toast, a sandwich for my lunch and a bowl of soup for my dinner. More than you.” I said, smirking.  
“Good for you. I am trying my best alright, I just don’t want to eat much today” She replied.  
“May I ask what makes you not want to eat?” I ask, smiling and moving closer to her.  
“I… Memories.” She said nervously. She was playing with the toggle on her jogging shorts.I smiled sadly.   
“Memories of what?” I asked.  
“Uhhh, the war mainly.” She said looking away from me.   
“The memories of my Uncle abusing me and mistreating me. I started binge eating in my 4th year of Hogwarts due to the feeling of being worthless and useless by my Uncle Vernon mistreating me. But since the war, I have struggled with my disorder more because of the amount of deaths caused by me. I blamed myself but I have learned that I should not blame myself as it is not my fault. So I know you blame yourself for the amount of deaths but let me tell you. It is not your fault, I do not blame you. You are forgiven.” I say placing my hand on Sevira’s hand. She looked at it and took it. I looked at her. Tears were streaming down her pale cheeks. I used my hand to wipe the tears away.  
“Why are you crying?” I asked slightly shocked at seeing my old Professor Snape being emotional.  
“I am sorry for everything I did to you. I am sorry for being the cause of your parents death, I am sorry for calling your mother a Mudblood. I am sorry for being a death eater…” She said crying.  
“Stop. Don’t apologise, it is not your fault. I blame Dumbledore. He is the one who put us in these messes, he was the one blackmailing you to be a double agent. I don’t blame you.” I said, pulling her into a hug. We sat here hugging for what seemed like forever but I didn't care. She was obviously having a panic attack or a mental breakdown, I think it was the latter. We let go of eachother and sat in a comfortable silence. I looked at her. Her black hair covered her face. I stood up quietly and walked to the kitchen. I checked the deep freeze. That’s it. I picked up a tub of ice cream. I placed some in two bowls and walked into the living room and handed the bowl towards her. She took it gingerly. I smiled. I sat down and started eating. 

“So, What age are you then since you have deaged?” I asked. Sevira placed her empty bowl on the coffee table and looked at me.   
“22 I think. My birthday was on the 9th of January.” She replied.   
“I am 23, wow I am older than you.” I joked. She rolled her eyes. I laughed.   
“You are older than me physically maybe but not mentally. I am still a 44 year old in my head.” She stated.   
“Well old one. It is 10pm, I am going to bed.” I slowly said,standing up. She laughed.  
“Well young man, goodnight.” She replied, looking at me. I smiled before walking up the stairs to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and washed my face before walking into my room. I quickly got dressed in my pyjamas and slipped into bed. And fell into a dreamless sleep. 

The morning quickly came around. I washed and got dressed into a red jumper and jeans and walked slowly down the stairs. It was still early. I walked into the living room to see Sevira sprawled across the sofa asleep. I opened the footstool where I placed blankets a few days ago. I picked up the blanket and placed it over Sevira gently. I quietly shut the door and went towards the kitchen to only see Hermione Granger wearing a mask. I stayed by the door and made sure to stay 2m away from each other.   
“Mione, What are you doing here?” I was surprised. It was nice to see someone else who wasn’t Sevira.   
“Hello to you too Harry. I am just wanting to check in. I noticed Sevira was still sleeping so I decided to wait here.” She said smiling.   
“How’s Ron?” I asked. She sighed.   
“I wouldn’t know, He had a breakdown and left me. I don’t know if he will be back. I was wondering if you have heard from him.” She said, She sounded sad.   
“Mione, I am so sorry, I haven’t. I wish I could hug you.” I said. What is ron doing?   
“I don’t know what to do Harry. I thought me and Ron were doing okay but the last thing he said to me was that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. It wasn’t the first time he has said it to me. I don’t know what to do. His family doesn’t know where he is. He is just gone.” She sadly said, tears were running down her cheeks.   
“Mione… I don’t know what to say. That doesn’t sound like Ron. Right, Let me grab my jacket and We will go out and look for him.” I said.   
“Harry, What about the pandemic?” She replied, sniffling.   
“Harry, I will go with Miss Granger, I am a good finder.” Sevira said from behind me.   
“No, Ron is my friend.” I replied.   
“Exactly, you will let your emotions consume you.” She replied already in her cloak. I sadly nodded.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING WARNING!!!!!

(Sevira’s POV)  
“Sevira we have to stay 2m away from each other. Pandemic you know.” Hermione said. I rolled my eyes.  
“We will be fine. So Ron. What happened?” I asked looking at her. She looked at me sadly as we walked down the path. I decided to look in Diagon Alley and it was in walking distance from here.   
“He had a breakdown.” Hermione stated. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her and for Ron. Ron was not handling this pandemic well and he is not getting the proper help. I suppose I am lucky I am with someone who cares more. Hermione has always been blunt which would not have helped him.  
“Over what?” I asked. She tensed. I could tell she felt awkward talking to me which tells me that Minerva told her who I was. I wasn’t annoyed at minerva. I don’t particularly care.  
“Don’t tell Harry this but Me and Ron got into a physical argument, Before you ask. I was the one hitting him. I am only admitting to it because I want to be honest. I didn’t know what happened. I felt like I wasn’t myself.” Hermione admitted. Ron doesn’t want to be found.   
“Hermione, sit with me.” I said, sitting on the bench that was situated in the nearby park. She reluctantly sat beside me.   
“I think you need to let Ron come back when he wants to. I think you guys need your space.” I said, looking at her. She wasn’t looking at me. I placed my hand on hers. Obviously she needed help too. I can sympathise with Miss Granger as I went through something similar.   
“If you need anything, I am here. I can keep this a secret from Mr Potter until you are ready to tell him. I recommend telling Mr Potter before Ron gets to him. We know that Mr Weasley can over exaggerate. I am not excusing your behaviour Miss Granger. What you did is so unlike you which makes me believe that you need help and need someone to talk to. Which is why I am here if you need to talk.” I said, patting her hand before letting go. We sat in a comfortable silence just listening to the birds.   
“Thank you Professor.” Hermione said, leaning her head on my shoulder. I tried not to tense up. I leaned my head on top of hers as I have seen muggles do that. I smiled slightly. This whole ordeal reminds me that I have to be there for Mr Potter through this time.   
“I recommend you to go home. Relax. And wait for Ron. I am certain he will return.” I said standing up. She nodded and apparated out. I sighed. I walked slowly back to Grimmauld place. What do I tell Mr Potter? I can’t tell Him the truth. I will just not tell him. What else can I do? 

I walked silently into the house. It was quiet which was a bad thing when Harry Potter is involved.   
“Potter!” I shouted out in hope he would answer me. I could hear shuffling in the kitchen so I walked towards the kitchen. I walked in to see Harry cooking something that looked like lasagna. I started to feel sick. That's 273 calories. I have already had 131 calories today. I can’t eat anymore. I walked into the library and picked out one of the dark arts books and sat by the window. I read and read trying to distract myself from the overwhelming feeling in my stomach. I can’t do this.   
“Sevira, Dinner is ready.” Mr Potter said from the door. I glanced at him and looked back at my book.  
“I am not hungry.” I stated,not looking at him. All I heard was a sigh before hearing him walk down the stairs. I sighed in relief. I thought there was going to be more of a fight. 

A week passed in what muggles would call peace. It was decent. We got on with reading and talking very little which was fine by me. Even though I am a 22 year old now. I still felt old. At least I might not die a virgin. I almost did. I laughed to myself at the thought of that.   
“What are you laughing at?” Harry asked. We were sitting in the library.  
“Just this book” I lied. He looked at me like I am stupid. I scowled. All I can see is James Potter there. I shivered.  
“You haven’t turned the page for 10 minutes.” He observed. I sighed. I looked at him.  
“Now you are a stopwatch Potter?” I said but stopped as I coughed. It was sore whenever I did.   
“Sevira, are you feeling alright?” Potter said, rushing over to me. I raised my hand to keep him away.   
“Potter, I think I have this virus. I noticed symptoms yesterday but I didn’t think much of it.” I said.   
“What symptoms?” He asked. I faced away to cough.   
“A cough, a start of a fever.” I replied. Harry ran to put on his mask and gloves.   
“Right, let’s get you to bed.” Potter said, helping me up. I knew I was perfectly capable of getting up but I wanted to see what he would do. I however didn’t realise that he would carry me to my room. I didn’t decline. I probably should have. He placed me on my bed and tucked me in. He went to open my curtains that were still shut.  
“If you need me just shout. I need to contact Hermione and tell her since you were with her last week.” Harry said at the doorway. I coughed in response. 

Days passed and I just got worse. I couldn’t eat, which to me wasn’t a bad thing but just made Mr Potter annoyed. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I have a cough that would not go away. I couldn’t sleep but I am always tired. It turns out that Miss Granger had the virus and passed it to me. I couldn’t blame her as it was my fault that I didn’t stand 2m away from her.  
I was just glad that Mr Potter didn’t get it. Why would I care if I did? Has turning female turned me into an idiot? I sighed. I stared up at the ceiling. I decided to get up. I was dressed in a black nightgown. I coughed. I opened the door. I coughed. I could hear Harry downstairs. I felt weak. I felt like my legs were jelly but I had to get out of that bed. I reached the stairs. I held onto the bannister but my foot slipped. Before I knew it I was at the bottom of the stairs. My nightgown went up showing my bottom half. Obviously on this day I decided to not wear underwear. I tried to get up but my arms couldn’t hold me.   
“Sevira! Are you alright.?!?!” Mr Potter exclaimed. I groaned. I was outright embarrassed but I also didn’t care.   
“Okay. Let’s get you up.” Mr Potter encouraged.He placed his hand at the back of my head and my waist and pulled me up. At this point I felt so tired that I didn’t care. I coughed.   
“Where...is...your...mask?” I asked in between coughs.   
“It doesn’t matter. Let’s just get you back to bed.” He said carrying me back up the stairs.  
“No. I can’t.” I coughed out. He sighed and held me tighter.   
“Okay. I will put you on the sofa for now.” He said, turning around slowly. I leaned my head on his shoulder. He covered me in blankets. I coughed.   
“I am beginning to think this isn’t covid 19. Are you able to taste your food now?” Harry asked, placing his hand on my head.   
“Unfortunately.” I replied. He just smiled.   
“I am going to call Madam Pompfrey,” He replied. I rolled my eyes. 

“It is just the flu. You are extremely lucky. Hermione has been bed ridden for days with Covid. I am surprised Sevira.” Madam Pomfrey said tutting. I smiled. Harry sighed in relief. I sighed. Flu. Not bad considering.   
“Harry, do you think you will catch this flu?” She asked, facing him. He shook his head.  
“I took a potion a few weeks ago. I should be fine” He replied. Potion? Madam Pomfrey promptly left soon after. I lay there. I did feel better apart from the fact I can’t stand up without feeling dizzy. Harry was writing on the chair next to the sofa. I stared at him.  
“What are you writing?” I asked, with a small cough. He looked at me.   
“Ah, Just stories of my adventure to collect horcruxes.” He replied. I laughed.   
“Your use of my is wrong. It should be our considering Ron and Hermione were there. How is Ron?” I asked suddenly. Harry looked at me.   
“He is with his family. He left Hermione. Darn right. I would if she hit me.” Harry replied sternly. I coughed. I looked at him.   
“It wasn’t her fault. She is not well mentally, Harry she needs help.” I said. Harry? Oh well I guess it is his name.   
“I know, but it wasn’t something you would expect from her of all people.” He replied sadly.   
“What about me? Do you think I would hit you?” I asked, sitting up slightly.   
“I- Depends. Your old self would.” He truthfully said. I felt a pang in my chest.   
“My old self is me Mr Potter, Why do you think that?” I said, quite frankly shocked. He looked at me and gulped.   
“Well you didn’t like me and to be honest you looked scary.” Mr Potter repled going back to his writing. The air around us was tense.   
“So, Because I looked scary, you would think I would hit you. Potter, tell me how that makes sense?” I scowled.   
“It doesn’t Snape. I do apologise.” He angrily said. I got myself up surprisingly. I walked slowly out and up the stairs and into my room. I never in my days thought I would be upset over Potter. Girl hormones. That must be it. I decided to go for a bath. I can tell that this flu is passing and maybe it will help. I don’t know. I walked into the bathroom and started running the water. I walked back into my room and got undressed. I wrapped the towel around my body. I looked at my legs. Bloody. Oh no. I forgot to make the potions to stop me menstruating. I cursed myself. I grabbed my wand from the dresser and cleaned myself up. I quickly walked into the bathroom. 

A week went by and me and Potter were still not speaking. Not that I cared. I was fully over the flu. Potter got on with his day. He ate,forced me to eat, he read. Whereas I lay in bed. Thinking about how shit I am. I think Potter knew as he seemed to poke his nosey head around the door. I stared at the wall. I shouldn’t be holding a grudge against Potter. Everything he said was true. I just didn’t want to admit it. My old self probably would have hit him if he pushed me to the limit. Sad but true. I wonder if he was happy that I “died”. He probably was happy. He is probably angry that I am still alive. I got up. I walked around my bed to see a red box with a black ribbon around it. How did this get here? I read the tag. ‘I am sorry. With Love, Harry J Potter.’ . I smiled. I unwrapped the gift. A black box. I opened it. It was a red dress. Odd. It was short sleeved. It had a red belt that went into a bow. There was another note at the bottom of the box. ‘This Red dress is the only way I can say sorry. The colour red resembles courage and confidence which I believe resembles you. Without you I wouldn’t be here. Thank you.’ . I smiled. I place the note on my bedside table and put on the dress. It was a perfect fit. It was quite obvious he had a good fashion sense. I brushed my hair and my teeth. I sprayed perfume that I accidently bought before lockdown. I walked downstairs. I needed to thank him. I found him sitting in the living room writing. He looked up and smiled. I smiled back.  
“Wow, you look gorgeous Sevira.” He complimented. I blushed. I sat beside him. I was reluctant to do this. I wrapped my arms around him. I am not a hugger but I felt like it was the best option. No one has done this for me before even if it is just a dress. He hugged me tightly.  
“Thank you.” I said into his shoulder. I let go and sat there in silence. He smiled. I sat crossed legged.  
“You do look beautiful Sevira.” Harry reminded me. I blushed again. I was embarrassed to say the least. I shouldn’t be like this.   
“Why thank you.” I said, standing and curtsied jokingly, He laughed. I sat back down.   
“Where did you get this?” I asked,looking at him.   
“Amazon.” He replied. I looked at him in confusion. Amazon?  
“It is a muggle thing.” He replied laughing. I rolled my eyes. 

For the rest of the day, we sat in silence. I read my dark arts book. And Harry was drawing. I walked into the kitchen. Opened the fridge. My mother Eileen taught me how to cook when I was little. I chopped the mushrooms, Tomatoes and courgettes. I placed it all into the pot and turned on the stove. I continued to chop onions, crush garlic cloves, cut celery and tossed it in the pot. I boiled water and boiled pasta. I poured the sauce into the pot of vegetables and it was ready to serve. Harry walked in, surprised. He grabbed two plates and I plated everything and we sat down.   
“Wow, this is absolutely amazing.” Harry said, shoving it in his mouth. I nodded and looked down at my food. My throat closed up and I was filled with dread. Come one Sevira. You can eat it. I picked up my fork and shoved food in my mouth quickly. No. I can’t do it. I placed my fork down. Harry was looking at me. He reached over and picked up my plate. He put some on his plate and gave it back to me.   
“Eat all of that Sevira. It is not a lot but it is something.” He said, smiling gently. I know he is trying to help. I was grateful for it. I took a deep breath and began to eat slowly. Harry finished all of it and sat in silence.  
“You are doing fantastic,” He complimented. I continued to eat until nothing was left. I felt sick but I am proud of myself. Harry collected the plates and began washing up, I grabbed my wand and cleaned it up in 2 seconds. He huffed. I laughed. I got two wine glasses and poured the red wine. I did give Harry a bit less than me. He was sitting in the living room and thanked me as I handed the glass of wine. 

“And then Ron got stuck behind the rocks with none other than the imbecile Gilderoy Lockhart. Hermione would have killed me if she wasn’t petrified.” Harry told, sipping his 7th glass of wine. He was drunk. I wasn’t.   
“Oh really? Sounds quite an adventure.” I replied, taking his wine glass from him much to his reluctance.   
“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” He slurred. I looked at him.   
“Harry, you are drunk.” I commented, sighing as I stood up. Harry continued to look at me.   
“You would look good without that dress on though.” He slurred out. I stopped walking towards him.   
“Mr Potter, that was inappropriate.” I commented. I helped him up and allowed him to lean on me as we walked towards the stairs. As we were walking up the stairs I felt his hand touch my bum. I jumped away which made him lose his balance.   
“Potter!” I yelled. He looked down. I pushed him up the stairs and into his room. I placed him in his bed and left him there. I made my way to my room and fell into in an uneasy sleep,

The morning came around with a headache. I got up and made my way to the library. My goal today was to avoid Harry. But when I walked in He was already there. He looked up and smiled slightly at me.   
“Good morning.” He said. I looked at him and made my way to the window where I left my book and sat.   
“Morning.” I replied, opening my book.   
“I am sorry for last night.” He said. I just nodded and continued to read. Minutes past in an awkward silence.  
“I am just not good with that kind of thing Harry. So do not worry about it.” I replied, waving it off. And to be honest it wasn’t the worst thing I have been through. I have been through much worse.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING WARNING READ TAGS

When will this lockdown end? It feels like I am going crazy. Seeing Harry everyday is okay but It is annoying. Even the tiny little thing would annoy me. I turned off the tap and left the bathroom. I walked into my room. It was a mess. Clothes everywhere. I couldn’t feel bothered tidying it up. I quickly left and went towards the living room. Walking past Creature who was moaning to himself. Miserable git. I could hear singing from the living room and Iquickly walked in to see what it was. It was Harry. He was singing Mr Brightside. He had a nice voice. I give him that. I smiled as I sat down. He was obviously absorbed into his drawing. He didn’t realise I was there. I sat down and just listened to him sing. It was actually relaxing. He finally stopped.   
“Nice singing.” I complimented. Harry jumped. I laughed. He laughed. He placed his drawing book down. Making sure he shut it.   
“What are you drawing?” I asked, looking at the book, He just smiled.   
“Ah nothing really, I am just doodling.” He said, I could tell he was lying.   
“Fun fact, I worked as a double agent so I know when people are lying.” I said, smirking. He looked at me and rolled his eyes.   
“Ah fine. It isn’t finished and you ruined the surprise.” He said grabbing the book and opening it. He faced it towards me. I had no words. It was good. He got everything right. Art was not a talent I would think Harry was good at.   
“You really shouldn’t have.” I said. I was actually speechless. It was a portrait of me. Female me.   
“I am grateful It wasn’t a portrait of your old potions professor.” I said sarcastically. He just smiled. And turned the page. There he was. My old face was staring back at me. He probably would be disappointed if he saw who he turned into. I smiled sadly.   
“Thank you” I replied curtly. Harry noticed and turned the page back to me. I had questions.   
“Why did you draw me?” I asked. He looked at me and smiled.   
“Because you are beautiful” He replied honestly. I scowled at him. He rolled his eyes.   
“You are Sevira.” He insisted, I just didn’t believe him. I couldn’t tell if he was flirting.  
“I am old enough to be your mother” I sneered. He just made a face.   
“Not anymore.” He replied. I stood up and made my way to the fireplace and looked at myself in the big mirror. I look disheveled. My hair was all over the place and I was only in my nightgown. It was morning so I didn’t mind.   
“How’s Ginny?” I asked, looking at him through the mirror. He looked down sadly.   
“We broke up. I found out she used a love potion on me.” He admitted. I felt an anger bubble inside me. How? How did she get a hold of that? I never taught her that. I knew Slughorn didn't. Fred and George's shop. I saw them there and I saw Ginny bought six bottles. I should have realised.  
“I’m sorry. So you haven’t been seeing anyone else then?” I asked, wanting to change the subject. I will deal with Ginny later. He just shook his head.   
“What about you? After my mother?” He asked looking at me. I felt a pang of guilt.  
“I never liked your mother like that Harry. She was my best friend and I fucked up. I never felt those feelings for her. She was more like a sister to me.” I replied honestly, making my way to sit back down. I ran my fingers through my hair in an effort to fix it.   
“Oh, Your memories told me otherwise.” He replied, looking at me.   
“You saw what you wanted to see Harry. In all truth, I liked Narcissa but obviously that didn’t happen. But now, I am not seeing anyone. No one is worth the effort.” I admitted.   
“Narcissa? Well maybe get out there and find someone Sevira. You have a second chance to get your life right. Do it right this time.” He said making his way to the library. I followed him.   
“Harry, I am going to say this once and never again. I need you to know that me and you will never work out. It can’t.” I confirmed. He looked at me. I couldn’t tell what he was feeling. I never seem too but he did look sad. He nodded sadly and made his way to his room and closed the door. I felt guilty. Obviously he has some kind of crush for me. I cringed at the thought. I picked up the Daily prophet which was pushed through the fireplace. I looked at it. I need out. Headline: Lockdown to end today! However we can only meet people outside at a 2m distance! I rolled my eyes. Better than nothing. Shops are able to open as long as we wear a mask inside. I grabbed my cloak and took the floo to Diagon Alley. 

Busy. Obviously people were fed up of staying in. I put on my mask before walking. I didn't want to take the risk. I walked into Eyelop’s owl emporium and magic menagerie. I noticed Harry didn’t have an owl. My fault. I am the one who killed the white owl. I had to. I looked around. I asked the shop owner if they had any whote owls. They did. I walked to the back of the shop to see three white owls. Named Gerald, Sherlock and Shrek. I decided to pick Sherlock. He looked like a smart bird. Harry better be grateful. I paid and quickly left to head home.   
“Sevira!” Someone shouted behind me. I sighed and turned around to see Mr Weasley. I stopped until he was 2m away from me.   
“How are you?” Mr Weasley asked slightly out of breath. It was odd to see him without Molly or his children.   
“I am good Mr Weasley.” I replied curtly. I looked at him. He looked tired.   
“How’s Harry? Ron has been asking about him.” Mr Weasley asked.   
“He is okay. He has to deal with living with me. It must be difficult for him.” I said,laughing slightly. Mr Weasley chuckled before looking at me.   
“You know, that Harry is grateful for everything you have done for all of us?” Arthur asked,raising his red eyebrows.   
“Oh I know, He is constantly trying to show it.” I commented. I didn’t want to be thanked. I did what I had to do.  
“Don’t be too hard on him. He means well.” Arthur said as he walked off. I do worry about that family. 

I flooed back to the house and placed the owl on the coffee table and went to get Harry. He came down the stairs. I could tell he was crying. I felt guilty.   
“Close your eyes.” I requested, He did. I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the living room. I grabbed the bird.   
“Open.” I requested and he did. His eyes brightened up and the smile was back. He walked over to me.  
“For me?” He asked, petting the owl. I nodded before gesturing for him to take it.  
“His name is Sherlock” I commented, I held my hands behind my back. I was nervous he would find the owl annoying or he didn’t like it.   
“Sherlock is your responsibility Harry.” I said. He placed the owl on the table. He nodded and wrapped his hands around me.   
“Thank you so much Sevira.” He said into my shoulder. I stood frozen before hugging him back. It was nice. That's it. Nice. I pushed him gently off me and nodded before heading to the library. Obviously Harry decided to follow me. He looked at me as if he had a million questions. A look I know too well.   
“Out with it Harry.” I commented. I opened my book and began reading. Harry sat on the chair at the other end of the room. He was still smiling from receiving the owl.   
“Why did you get me Sherlock?” He asked, fidgeting with his hands. I didn’t look at him.   
“I wanted to apologise for killing Hedwig and for what I said earlier.” I said, I couldn’t look at him.   
“I knew it was you who killed him, I knew it. Anyway, Earlier was my fault. I should learn to keep my mouth shut for once.” He replied, scoffing. I laughed slightly.   
“I wish you did that throughout the 6 years I had to teach you.” I joked well half joked.   
“How was Diagon Alley?” He asked.   
“It was busy. I hit into Arthur Weasley. He seems okay before you ask.” I commented turning the page. I wasn’t really reading. It was more glancing at it.   
“That’s good, I will need to send a letter to Ron and see if he is okay after the incident.” Harry commented,   
“So did you meet any handsome boys...or girls at the alley?” He pondered. I rolled my eyes.   
“Yes I did. No of course not.” I said, sarcastically. I stood up and walked towards the bookshelf that was behind Harry. I reached behind him and placed the book back. Harry was looking at me. Maybe if i kiss him, it will shut him up. I leaned in and pressed my lips on his. It was totally unpleasant. He kissed back. I let go before abruptly leaving the room and went into the living room where Sherlock was sitting patiently. I could hear footsteps run after me.   
“That was it? You kiss me and just leave?”He said. I could tell he was annoyed at me.   
“I thought if I kissed you, you would shut up about relationships.” I replied. No point in lying.   
“That’s unfair. You can’t play with my feelings like that?” He rasped. I looked around.   
“What feelings could you have for me?” I scowled. At this point I was facing him.   
“I really like you,” He admitted. I laughed mockingly.   
“Since when?” I said folding my arms.   
“Since my 6th year.” He looked defeated. I wasn’t backing down. I hummed and made my way to my room.   
“Why are you pushing me away?” He asked from the bottom of the stairs. I stopped but didn’t turn around.  
“I will just get hurt again.” I admitted before walking into my room. 

I avoided Harry like the plague for the next week and a half. I tried my best. I had my dinner in my room, I never did finish it though but I still ate. That was the main thing according to Harry when he would talk to me that is. Not that I care. I wandered about my room with my notebook in hand. I was making new potions. I wanted to make one specifically for people who have heart defects. There are not enough wizards surviving past the age of 40 who have heart defects. And I wanted to create a cure for all diseases. It was a big ask but I am sure I could do it. Growing up, I have always had a birth defect. It was genetic. My mother died from it in the 80s aged 40. I never really knew her too much to mourn her. But I wanted to make sure I will be able to live among other wizards. Too many people are dying and no one is helping them. The ministry hasn’t fully recovered from the events of the war. And St Mungos are still dealing with trauma patients. I looked down at my notebook. Nothing. I threw it on my bed. I was annoyed at myself. I am letting my thoughts be consumed by that idiot Pott...Harry. I was pacing at this point until I heard a knock on my door.  
“Come in,” I said quietly. I stopped pacing. Harry walked in. I looked at him.  
“Sevira, I am sorry for making you feel pressured or anything. I do really like you. But I understand.” He said. He didn’t look sad or anything. Well I couldn’t tell.   
“I am sorry for kissing you.” I said, sitting on the edge of my bed. He smiled.  
“Don’t apologise for that. I just don’t want to be hurt again.” I concluded. I placed my hand on his. Of course I liked him. It would be a lie if I said I didn’t.   
“What do you mean?” Harry asked, sitting beside me. I looked at him.   
“When I was Severus Snape. You know the scary potions master. It was during your 6th year, I was called by The Dark Lord and let’s just say it wasn’t a brilliant experience. He came to the conclusion that I had failed him. Let’s just say it isn’t only women who get sexuall assaulted.” I forced out, I didn’t particularly want him to know but he deserves to know the truth. I am not lying to anyone anymore. Harry looked shocked and guilty. He placed his hand on mine in a way to comfort me.   
“I am glad I killed him.” Harry said, I could hear anger. I patted his hand and looked at him. It was quite obvious Harry cared for me.   
“So you liked me since your 6th year huh?” I queried. He just smiled.   
“Yes, who couldn’t love the Half blood prince. He was a smart man.” He replied.   
“Is not was. I am still alive.” I replied. He laughed and nodded.   
“I do apologise. Now Miss Prince will come with me for dinner.” He said. Gesturing me to take his arm. I gladly obliged. 

He made Risotto. I wouldn’t say it is my favourite but I won’t complain. I ate it in silence. I noticed he gave me a smaller portion for which I was thankful for. I smiled as I placed my fork down. That was the first time in a while where I didn’t care what I was eating and I didn’t feel bad for it. I was proud of myself for that.   
“Got to say, I make a banging risotto.” Harry said collecting both plates. I cleaned them with my wand and Harry sighed. He hated me doing that which is why I do it. I live off pissing him off.   
“I hate you” Harry squeaked as he placed the plates in the cupboard.  
“No you don’t” I replied, standing. I walked into the living area and sat on the sofa. Harry came striding in. Sherlock was in the corner with letters hanging from its beak. I walked over to collect it. It was from Miss Granger, Mr R Weasley and Wait… Miss Prince.   
“Why are you talking to my cousin?” I asked, waving the envelope. Harry looked down guiltily. I looked at him. Waiting for a response. I opened it. I didn’t care if it wasn’t my mail. 

‘Dear Mr. Potter,  
Thank you for writing to me. In all Truth I have not heard from Severus/Sevira for a long time since her Mother died in fact. You asked me whether there was any childhood “trauma” in her childhood. I would have assumed you would have seen her memories in which you said when you did the Daily Prophet interview. That was fantastic by the way. Anyway, the answer to your question is yes. Her Father Tobias Snape was absolutely abusive. Eileen Prince wrote to my mother about it weekly. Tobias was known for the drink and whenever he would drink he would abuse either his wife or at the time his Son Severus. I remember one time. Eileen had to go into St Mungo’s for injuries. Severus was alone with him. This was the day before his 5th year at Hogwarts. He told me that Tobias threw him down the stairs, Hit him, Starved him and did things in the explicit nature. I am sure, Severus/Sevira would have given you permission to ask me this hence why I am replying to you. Sevira will always be affected by her childhood. But trust me when I say she is the kindest person you will know as long as you don’t upset her. I know she was horrible to you but that wasn’t without reason.   
With Love,  
Katie Prince xx. 

I finished reading. I didn’t know how to feel. I felt exposed. This wasn’t information I wanted him to know but I had to remain calm. I couldn’t allow him to see that this has hurt me in any way. I closed off all thoughts and emotions as I passed the letter towards him. I sat on the sofa staring at the fireplace. I lit it with my wand. Harry finished reading and sat beside me. He tried to grab my hand but I pulled away. I felt betrayed in a way. It is like I can’t have anything kept to myself. Harry sighed but opened the letters from Mr Weasley and Ms Granger.   
“Ah, Ron and Hermione have worked things out. Hermione is getting therapy and Ron and her are trying for a child. Apparently the whole thing was a complete misunderstanding.” Harry commented. Misunderstanding my arse. Hermione will probably lash out again. It is what they do. Abusers. I made a noise of acknowledgement.   
“At least they are happy,” I chimed in after a while. Harry looked at me.   
“I am sorry for writing to your cousin, I just wanted to know more about you.” He said, placing the letters on the small table.   
“Then just ask, I also have a heart defect which wizards don’t live beyond the age of 40. So I have a death sentence.” I quipped. He looked at me.   
“40 is the new 170” Harry joked, I looked at him but ended up laughing, At least he can find the humour to it all.   
“Then why are you not getting out there and meeting someone?” He asked. I looked at him. I knew he meant well.  
“I don’t know, I guess never met someone who liked me as much.” I replied and it was true.   
“Well maybe that person is right in front of you.” He replied. I rolled my eyes.   
“Well if it was maybe he or she should do something about it.” I replied. Before I knew it I was on my back and he was kissing me. This time I wanted to see if he meant it and he did. 

I woke up to see the light streaming from the closed curtains. I felt someone's arm around my naked chest. I got up as quietly as I could so I didn’t wake Harry. I quickly got dressed and made my way to the back garden. I walked out and breathed the air. It was nice. I sat on the small chair and looked out at the unkempt garden. I am an idiot. I should not of have had sex with him. Maybe I should have. I don’t know. I felt conflicted. I can hear Severus’s voice in my head berating me but Sevira is happy and enjoyed it. I rubbed my face with my hands. I don’t know. I know Severus was my past but he is still a part of who I am today. Maybe I should listen to him. But I have been for years. Maybe I deserve to be loved. ‘Loved! By Potter! You must be stupid!’ His voice said in my head.  
“Go Away!!” I said to myself. I noticed Harry at the back door. I looked at him. His hair was messy but what is new. I smiled.  
“Who are you talking to?” He asked, sitting beside me. I looked around,   
“Just to myself.” I lied. He would probably think I am insane. He just laughed and helped me up.


	4. Chapter 4

(Harry’s pov)

4 weeks later - 

Days went by in a blur. It wasn’t a bad thing. For once in my life I was happy. Me and Sevira obviously spend the majority of the time in bed but that wasn’t the most important thing to me. I just wanted her to be safe and happy. I know what it is like not to be loved. I was hated until I left for Hogwarts. But I now know I should be grateful for my life as hers was way worse. She protected me every year I was there. I have to be grateful. I do owe her my life. We spent the time playing chess, I kept winning much to Sevira’s annoyance. What can I say? Ron taught me well. I made sure to keep close contact with Hermione and Ron, just making sure everything is alright. News came in that we were allowed to have 2 people indoors so they spent the majority of the time here. Sevira made herself scarce much to my annoyance. I told them everything. Hermione told me she knew all along. Ron was shocked but wasn’t angry. He just told me good luck. However this week, something feels off. Sevira is way more colder towards me. She seems to be avoiding me to be honest. And I was getting annoyed.

I woke up alone. I ate alone. We would pass each other in the hall but not talk. I was getting fed up with it. Yes she would stay with me at night but she made sure she would leave before the sun rose. I walked into the kitchen. I woke up alone again and I was going to confront her about it. I sat at the table waiting for her to appear from wherever she was. Nothing. I walked around the house. I couldn’t find her. Maybe she went out. I sighed and just got on with my day. I cleaned. I didn’t use magic. It was a way to clear my head. I did feel like some sort of housewife. But I carried on. Did I say something to upset her? I don’t think so. I went into her room to just sweep up. And dust. It was clean for once. She must have cleaned it when she was avoiding me. I opened her drawers just to wipe everything down. Her clothes were gone. Maybe she went to clean them. I noticed a white piece of paper on her bed. I opened it.

Dear Mr Potter, 

I am currently staying with the Malfoy’s. Don’t follow me or ask me why. This is probably well hopefully the last you will hear from me. I don’t want to speak to you again. What we did was a mistake. I should not have allowed it to carry on. I allowed my female thoughts to get the better of me. I did enjoy your company but not that much. I don’t love you at all. I won’t apologise for feelings. 

Sincerely,   
Miss S. Prince.  
P.s If you send me any letters. I will burn them. 

I sat on the edge of the bed. Clutching the letter. I let the letter fall onto the wooden floor. What did I do to deserve this? I felt the tears fall down my cheeks. Am I really that difficult to love? Ginny had to force me to love her. We only split up a month before lockdown. I have spent 9 months with someone who I loved to only be pushed away. I should be used to it. It always happens to me. 

I walked around diagon alley. A month since Sevira left. I wasn’t here for any particular reason. I just wanted to see other wizards that weren't my reflection. I walked into the weasleys joke shop not for any reason. I saw Ron who was at the front desk. I walked up to him and smiled. He excused himself and made his way to greet me.   
“Harry! I am sorry to hear about Sevira. Bugger isn’t it?!” Ron exclaimed. I smiled sadly.   
“I suppose how's Hermione? Ginny?” I asked. Ron looked down.   
“Hermione is good, She is working at the ministry. Ginny is at home.” Ron said. I could tell when he was hiding something. He always went red.   
“Spit it out. I know you are hiding something.” I said, smiling. Ron sighed and looked at me.   
“Come for dinner tonight.” Ron suggested.   
“But the pandemic.” I commented. Ron rolled his eyes.   
“It is fine, I promise. Let me close the shop and go home. Mum will have a fit.” Ron said waving his wand. Lights went out. 

We arrived at the burrow. It was cold. I could see Molly inside rushing about. Ron walked in ahead. And I came in after. I was nearly tackled by Molly.   
“Harry Dear!! You should have told you we were coming!!” Molly scolded. I smiled.   
“Blame your son Molly.” I replied pointing at Ron who was eating the bread off the table. Molly hit him at the back of his head. I heard footsteps coming down the stairs.   
“Mum have you got a spare blanket?” Ginny asked before noticing me. Her eyes went wide and ran up the stairs. I don’t hate Ginny for what she did. In fact I thanked her for it. She at least didn’t intentionally hurt me. I could tell she felt extremely guilty. I sighed. I looked towards Molly who was staring but smiled and went on with cooking. I sat beside Ron at the table.   
“Harry?” Ginny said from behind me. I turned to see her holding a bundle of blankets.   
“Hey Ginny.” I said gently. I stood up to help her with the blankets. I walked up only to see a baby snuggled in the said blankets. I stepped back. I looked at Ron who was eating nervously. And Molly and Arthur were just staring.   
“Is the baby mine? It could be Deans.” I asked, I was panicking. Ginny nodded.  
“He is yours. Born yesterday.” Ginny said. Mine? A boy? I stood there speechless.   
“Does he have a name?” I asked. I knew she wasn’t lying to me. The boy had my eyes.   
“No but I will let you name him.” Ginny suggested. I nodded and took the baby gently from her. I loved him already.   
“James Sirius Potter” I called as I sat down with him at the table. Everything seemed normal.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I would appreciate feedback. Ways to improve. Try not to be mean to me though.

-13 years later - 

Waving Albus Severus Potter away. It was his turn to leave for his first year of Hogwarts. I held onto Lily as the train went away. I remember my first time at Hogwarts. Ginny stood beside me holding onto my shoulder. Sending your child away even if it is not permanent is still sad. I could tell Al would be nervous. He has always been a nervous child. James was in his fourth year. That boy is like me. He is always in trouble. We started to make our way back to the muggle platform. I looked around at the parents. There was Draco and Neville. They were sending off their son Scorpius. Identical to Draco. Hermione and Ron who were chatting to Luna lovegood.   
“Harry, look. Isn’t that Sevira?” Ginny asked, pointing towards a woman. Black hair. Gorgeous. It was her. I could feel the anger rise in me. I have moved on. I am back with Ginny. But I was still angry.   
“Honey, leave it.” Ginny said, pulling me and Lily towards the muggle platform. I looked at Sevira as we walked past. She looked back and sneered. I continued walking. We made it back to our home in Godric’s hollow. Lily ran up the stairs and into her room. She was usually up there for hours drawing.   
“Right, I have to go and practice for my competition. Please don’t destroy the house while I am gone.” Ginny suggested. I rolled my eyes and kissed her cheek goodbye. I walked into my office to find old unopened mail. One from Hogwarts. I quickly opened it. 

Dear Mr Potter,

A place has become available for the Defence Against the Dark Arts post at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry this year. We would be happy if you would take the post. I know that this letter won’t be seen until late. I know you are a busy man. Turn up during the great hall feast and we will be pleased to see you.   
Kind Regards,  
Minerva McGonagall, Headmistress at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

I didn’t need to think about it. Of course I will take it. I grabbed my suitcase and magically packed it. I left Lily at Molly’s. She was crying and so was I. Was it selfish that I was going? Ginny and Lily will be fine. Ginny understands. I flooed into the headmistresses office. I walked out the flame only to be greeted by Minerva and Sevira.  
“Mr Potter, You have decided to take the position. I am pleased to see you. The feast will start in 2 hours. You are early. Please sit down.” Minerva rushed, pulling another seat beside Sevira. I sat down gingerly. Not looking at her. Minerva looked at the two of us and sighed.   
“Mr Potter, Sevira is the Hogwarts Potions master. You two will get along. I don’t know what happened between you nor do I wish to know.” Minerva said, raising her hands. I snickered. Sevira looked at me.  
“Back in the old job. I thought you hated it.” I quipped. Sevira half laughed. Minerva just rolled her eyes.   
“Well, some places are better than others Potter.” She replied curtly. I felt a pang of hurt in my chest.   
“I tried my best with you. That is all I am saying.” I commented. I did try my best. I loved her. Sevira just smirked.   
“Well, Mr Potter, How is Albus Severus Potter? I hear he is arriving shortly.” Minerva asked. I knew what she was doing. Sevira just looked at me shocked.   
“He is nervous. He is worried that he will be put into Slytherin due to his name sake. I told him he was named after two of the bravest headmasters to ever live. Truth be told, that helped him I think.” I replied. I looked at Sevira. She looked genuinely surprised but the emotion was gone as soon as she noticed I was looking at her. Minerva just smiled.   
“Your son James Siruis, is a walking prankster. Reminds me a lot of the twins and your father.” Minerva commented. Sevira scoffed.   
“He is awful at potions. I try with him but nothing is computing.” Sevira replied. What is this? Parents evening?.   
“That isn’t much of a surprise is it? I was awful at it. Let’s hope Albus will be better.” I commented. I want at least one of my children to succeed in that lesson.   
“I suppose not.” Sevira remarked. I looked at her. She looked older. She would be around 32 now. 13 years of avoiding each other. She was wearing a black long sleeve dress that went down to her knees and a balck cloak. Her hair wasn’t greasy which surprised me and it was in a bun.   
“Well make your way to the hall. The pupils should be arriving shortly.” Minerva quipped. Me and Sevira walked in a tense silence as we walked down to the great hall. Hogwarts looked fantastic. It was refurbished the exact same. I felt like an 11 year old again. I remember being surprised at how magical it was. It still is. We made our way to the head table. I did look ragged so I fixed myself with my wand and sat down beside Sevira. I didn’t want to make conversation. She doesn’t deserve my time. Children flooded in and sat down in their houses.   
“Mr Potter you will be in charge of the sorting.” Minerva said from her golden chair beside Sevira. I nodded and stood next to the wooden stool. I could hear whispers around the room. Children were surprised to see me. 1st years stumbled in and made their way to the front of the hall. I spotted Albus who was talking to Scorpius. I smiled.   
“Granger-Weasley, Rose” I shouted, My goddaughter made her way to the stool and smiled at me before sitting down.   
“Gryffindor!!” The hat shouted. I could hear Rose groan.   
“Well done.” I whispered as she made her way to the cheering Gryffindor table.   
“Pritchard Luke.” I shouted. A boy with brown hair made his way to the stool with tripping up the first step. I held back my laughter. The children didn’t.  
“Slytherin!” The hat shouted after being on his head for 5 minutes. I coughed.   
“Holmes,Katie” I shouted. A girl with black curls made her way to the stool. She looked confident.   
“Oh, this is new. You are one intelligent muggleborn. Must be Ravenclaw!!” The hat shouted. I took the hat off as she wandered off. She didn’t even look at me.   
“Potter, Albus” I shouted. My son made his way to the stool.   
“Don’t be nervous. You will be okay.” I comforted, he just smiled.   
“Another Potter eh? That is three I have been placed on top of.” The hat alked. 3? Only two of my children have been to Hogwarts. I waved it away. The hat made a mistake.   
“Slytherin!!” The hat shouted. I could feel Al, Tense up. I placed the hat off his head and smiled at him. He made his way to the Slytherin table. I looked at James who looked shocked. I looked at the scroll.   
“Malfoy Scorpius” I shouted. A bleached blonde haired boy made his way to the front. He looked nervous.   
“Slytherin!” The hat shouted before touching his head. Did the same thing with draco. Scorpius smiled at Sevira before making his way to the Slytherin table. Name after name I called and soon every first year child was sorted. I sat back down next to Sevira who wasn’t looking at me. I was introduced to the students and the feast began. I began eating. I wasn’t that hungry. I lanced over at Sevira’s plate. Empty. Not this again.   
“Why are you not eating?” I asked, quietly. Sevira sighed.   
“Not any of your business now must you be quiet.” Sevira said.   
“Professor Prince?” A fourth year said from in front of us. Sevira nodded.   
“I left my potions book at home.” The slytherin pupil said, looking down.   
“And that is my issue because?” Sevira queried.   
“I just thought I should tell you.” The girl said, Sevira sighed.   
“Flora go back to your table.” Sevira instructed and Flora made her way back. Sevira sighed and rubbed her face.   
“Is Flora a nightmare?” I asked only half joking.   
“She can be. She is very forgetful.” Sevira admitted. She acts like she knows her personally.   
“What is Flora’s second name?” I asked.  
“Flora Prince.” She replied.   
“Your daughter?” I asked. I didn’t know she had someone else in her life. She is the same age as James if not younger.   
“Yes. Her father decided to send Flora to Hogwarts instead of Beauxbatons. As we currently reside in France. I continue to travel here to teach.” Sevira admitted. So Sevira found someone pretty quickly after me. I looked towards the talking children. Al, was talking to Scorpius. I smiled. Me and Draco have become good friends which surprises everyone including myself.   
“So, where did you run off to when you left me?” I asked, looking at her. She tensed up.   
“I don’t see how that is any of your business Potter.” She scowled at me. I tensed up.   
“I have a right to know. You left me a sleazy letter.” I rebutted. I am fed up of being pushed aside.   
“I went to stay with my cousin Katie. You know the one who sent you that privacy invading letter. Since you want to know my life’s story. I met this man, His name is Robert Albert Abadie, French wizard. He treats me well. Anything else you wish to know or can we go back to not speaking to each other.” She mocked. She glared at me before turning towards the students. I just looked down. 

I entered my new quarters which were situated next to my office in the north tower. It was warm. It was quite close to the Gryffindor common room in fact. I suppose it was a good thing. I can keep an eye out for James. I walked into my room where my suitcase was placed neatly. I smirked. I couldn’t really bring myself to think about my first lesson tomorrow. I was too busy thinking about Sevira. I got into my pyjamas and wrote a letter to Ginny just telling everything is fine and to tell Lily I miss her. I got into bed and slept until there was a bang outside. I just turned over. Classes were decent. Next was the fourth year Slytherins and Gryffindors. They all rushed in and found their seats. I made sure a gryffindor sat next to a slytherin student. No teams or favouritism even if my son was in this class.  
“You are here to learn the defensive spells and the exact art of curses and dark creatures. As there is a lot of foolish wand waving, there will be punishments for those who do not work hard. I don’t expect you to learn curses and hexes and defensive spells that are not part of the stimulus however it will not harm you to revise them.” I said making sure I came across as stern and strict. “I will teach you how to live in the wizarding world in this still dangerous world.” I finished, crossing my arms. I looked around the class. James was looking at me in a glare. I saw Flora writing. I rolled my eyes.   
“It has come to my attention that it is difficult for some of you to pay attention.” I scolded, looking straight at Flora. James nudged her and she put her feather down. I glared at her before beginning to teach them about Werewolves. I walked down to the great hall for dinner. I sat beside Sevira who was talking to Flora.  
“What have I told you about not listening in class? You are so much like your father.” Sevira jokes. Flora smiled in response.   
“I am sorry Mummy.” She replied. She was a sweet young girl who obviously had a lot of love for her mother.   
“You do remember to call me professor when in school.” Sevira warned, giving her a fake stern look. Flora skipped away. For someone is slytherin. She didn’t act like it. I smiled as I plated potatoes onto my plate. I glanced at Sevira who was staring at the children in a way I have never seen her do before. I began to eat when Sevira reached across me to grab the potatoes. She is eating today. Good. I stayed silent, not wanting to cause upset between us.   
“I am sorry for my daughter not listening to you when you were apparently giving your big speech.” Sevira said, as she began to eat. I smiled.   
“Ah, don’t apologize. I did the same thing in your class in my first year. She meant well.” I commented. And Flora was writing what I was saying the same thing I did in my first year.   
“I remember that. I was in a mood that day.” Sevira commented, sighing.   
“You were in a mood everyday Sevira.” I commented. She just rolled her eyes and we ate in a comfortable silence. 

Weeks passed and it was finally October week. A week without kids. Bliss. I strolled around the quidditch pitch and went towards the black lake. The wind swirled around me. I made sure to stay clear of my children at Hogwarts. They deserve to experience everything Hogwarts has to offer without me being there. I am sometimes of a hindrance. As I have been told in the past. I walked up to the tree which I saw in Snape’s worst memory.   
“Hello Professor?” I turned to see who was there. It was Flora who was holding her potion books. I smiled and watched her sit next to the tree. So much like her mother.   
“Hello Miss Prince, Sorry to disturb you.” I commented as I began to walk back to Hogwarts.   
“Wait! You can sit with me. I would love the company sir.” Flora said moving over slightly. I sat beside her. She opened her book.   
“Studying are we?” I observed. Flora smiled.   
“I have never been good with potions. Your mother would tell you.” I commented looking at her. She looked so much like Sevira but she had bright green eyes. I smiled. At least Sevira has something that resembles my mother. Green eyes must come from her father’s.   
“She has, But what would you get if you added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?” Flora asked. Her mother asked me the exact same question. I laughed slightly.  
“Asphodel and Wormwood make a potion so powerful it is named the draught of the living death.” I replied, knowing I was right. Flora smiled at me. Flora jumped to her feet and I turned around. James was walking up the hill with his group of friends. James stopped when he spotted me.   
“Dad? What are you doing here?” James Siruis Potter asked, looking at me in frustration.   
“Oh, I was talking to the lovely Miss Prince. Sit down Flora. What are you doing here?” I questioned, raising my eyebrow.   
“Oh just walking.” James said, I knew he was lying. I gave him a look which told him I am not stupid.  
“Then run along Mr Potter.” I said. James stomped away with his friends. Flora sighed in relief.   
“Spill the beans. Is my son bullying you?” I asked, smiling gently. Flora looked down.   
“Not all the time.” Flora quietly said. I stood up and offered her my hand.  
“Have you told your mother?” I asked. She shook her head. I will take that as a no. We walked back to Hogwarts and tried to find Sevira.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning/// Mentions of eating disorders and Domestic Violence. 
> 
> Remember to comment on what you would love to see in this story. It will be a minimum of 20 chapters.

“So, your son James and his groups of friends are bullying my daughter?” Sevira asked what confirmation. I nodded sadly.  
“I see James has something in common with his grandfather.” Sevira quipped. Flora continued to look down at the floor.  
“Unfortunately yes. I will allow you to give him detention until you see fit. What he has done is unacceptable and Flora if this happens again. You can go and talk to your mother or even me.” I said, gently. Flora nodded and ran into me. Giving me her biggest hug she can muster. She had tears running down her cheeks. I looked at Sevira who was looking at us expressionless. I pushed Flora off me gently and smiled.  
“I must take my leave, Have a good day you two.” I said as I left towards Minerva’s office.  
“Strawberry Cake” I said as the Gryffin moved allowing me to head up the stairs. I knocked on the door and it opened.  
“Ah, Professor Potter. How may I help you?” Minerva asked, looking at me through her glasses. I walked towards the desk noticing the portrait of Dumbledore waving enthusiastically at me. I waved back and sat down.  
“Headmistress, May I ask a personal question about one of the Slytherin Students?” I asked, clasping my knees. Minerva stopped what she was writing and looked at me.  
“Go ahead Potter, I may not be able to answer it though.” She replied. I gulped.  
“Who is Flora Prince’s father?” I asked. Minerva sighed and looked at me and to her work.  
“Her father is Robert Albert Abadie. His and Sevira’s wedding last month was just beautiful. You should have seen it. They met years ago.” Minerva said, dreamily. She was remembering their wedding. I couldn’t help feel jealous.  
“How’s Ginny?” Minerva asked. Ginny… I forgot about her for a moment.  
“Fine.” I replied even though I didn’t really know. We didn’t keep in close contact.  
“I remember your wedding. That was beautiful too but can I speak frankly Potter.” Minerva commented.  
“Of course.” I replied. I looked around at all the portraits. Minerva coughed and I turned to face her.  
“At your wedding, something that is supposed to be the best day of your life. You looked miserable and you still do. Do you love Ginny or do you love someone else?” Minerva asked quietly. I knew if I told her anything, she would keep it private.  
“Of course I do.” I said, I didn’t know if that was the truth. Minerva sighed and began to write again.  
“Sevira is happy with her life, Her child and her Husband. Don’t ruin it Potter. She deserves to be happy after everything that has happened.” Minerva commented as I began to take my leave. I walked slowly back to my quarters. I was pushed back and onto the floor.  
“Oh mon Dieu! Je suis désolé!" A man said, he grabbed my arms and helped me up. He was obviously french. I rubbed the dust off my robes and smiled. I didn’t know any french.  
“Thank you. I am sorry for hitting into you. I am Professor Potter.” I said very slowly so he could understand me. He smiled and chuckled.  
“I am Robert Albert Abadie. Professor Prince’s husband. And it was alright. It happens.” Robert replied in full english. I looked down slightly embarrassed.  
“Do you want me to take you to her office? She might be there.” I suggested.  
“Oh god no. I was just leaving back to France. Well Goodbye.” Robert flustered as he walked away. Okay? A bit odd. Robert had blonde hair. Striking green eyes. Like Flora. That confirms my question as to whether I am her father. I sighed in relief. That was a close one. I walked too Sevira’s office. I was about to knock when I heard objects being smashed and Her shouting in what sounded like anger. I rushed in and just missed a flying potion bottle that smashed against the wall beside me.  
“Hey! Stop!” I shouted in effort to stop her. She stopped and sat down on the small step. I walked slowly over to her, walking over broken pieces of glass.  
“What happened? I saw Robert.” I asked gently. I was genuinely worried for her. Obviously something happened.  
“Me and Robert got into an argument.” She admitted quietly. I looked at her and down at the broken glass. I waved my wand and it was all clean.  
“May I ask why?” I asked, looking at her. Her hair was hanging off her shoulders. I pushed it back so I could see her face. She was crying. Not an emotion I have seen often from her or Severus.  
“No you may not know. But I will ask this. Do not mention what you have seen here to my daughter.” I nodded. Looking at her more closely. I noticed a beginning of a bruise on her right cheek and red hand marks on her neck. I gulped in fear.  
“Sevira has he hurt you?” I asked quickly. I got closer but Sevira jumped away from me. That is a yes then.  
“Let’s go to Minerva and see if she can Help” I tried to encourage. She sat at her desk and looked down.  
“I don’t need your help Potter. Everything is fine.” Sevira scowled at me. I just stood there in silence. I walked towards the desk.  
“You trusted me once. What happened” I voiced my frustration. 14 years ago we were talking about everything.  
“Don’t Potter.” Sevira warned,glaring at me. I sighed. I walked around the class and looked for wipes. I found some kind of cloth and I soaked it in cold water. I walked up to Sevira.  
“You are safe now. Okay. I won’t hurt you.” I said, as I pressed the wet cloth to her right cheek. She was reluctant but let me. This is the closest we have been since the lockdown.  
“I am sorry if it is too cold for you.” I commented. Sevira flinched slightly. I kept dabbing.  
“Ginny is working for the Holyhead Harpies.” I commented trying to make a conversation.  
“Oh lovely, you must be proud of her. So when did you two get married?” She asked. I guess she wanted a distraction to what is happening.  
“We got married right before Albus was born.” I replied. Sevira sighed.  
“That is good. It seems you have a good life.” She commented. I took the cloth away from her cheek. I stepped back.  
“I do have a good life,” I said, smiling slightly. Sevira looked at me and smiled as well. Truth be told is that I have a good life. I have my three adorable children and my loving wife.  
“I am glad to hear it, Potter.” Sevira commented. She stood up. I took that as my signal to go.  
“When this term ends, I want to invite you and Flora to stay with me until you find a place. I don’t want you to live with Robert.” I commanded. I didn’t want any more harm towards her.  
“That is not your choice Potter. It is my life not yours.” She commented as she walked me to the door. I waved goodbye and walked to my quarters. I entered to find Albus sitting on the small sofa. I gave my children a password in case they needed to talk to me.  
“Al? What is up?” I asked, grabbing his shoulders and squeezing gently. I took my seat beside him. Al, just sighed and looked at me.  
“It is about Scorpius. His mother died. He doesn’t attend classes, He doesn’t eat, he tells me he hates himself. I don’t know what to do Dad” Albus sadly said, looking down. I could tell Albus really cares about Scorpius. Draco. I need to contact him.  
“I have noticed his lack of appearance in my class. Would you want me to talk to him?” I asked.  
“No, I just wanted to let you know. I didn’t want to tell Professor Prince, I can tell she is going through something.” He replied. I looked at him. How did he know that?  
“How do you know that she is going through a hard time?” I asked. Albus has always been an extremely emotional child.  
“I don’t know. I can feel her pain. Like I look at you and can feel your sadness even though You are not showing it.” Albus replied, glancing at me. I looked at him. Sad? I am not sad.  
“Sad?” I asked.  
“You miss someone. It isn’t mummy. I know that.” Albus said. I missed Sevira.  
“You are one talented boy. I give you that Al” I replied, messin with his hair. He laughed. Albus lived up to his namesake. He was calm, kind and very wise for his age which was just like Dumbledore. He was also sarcastic, mysterious and cynical which was like Severus. He reminded me nothing of myself apart from his looks and his mother. He was like an anomaly. I couldn’t have asked for anything else. Albus left shortly after. I picked up a quill and a piece of parchment and just wrote my condolences to Draco and that he can contact me anytime. I sent that by my Owl Sherlock. Which was a gift from Sevira. He was a very intelligent bird. He nibbled my finger and flew off. I stared at the forbidden forest and around just taking in the view that has never seemed to bore me. I can feel at peace here. I have never felt this at peace for 13 years. At home, it is boring. And also sad considering my parents died there but Ginny thought it was a good idea much to my reluctance. I always felt nagged there. She would constantly go on about the fact I was offered a role in the aurors and I always declined. I have done my duty for this world. It doesn’t need my help any longer and I don’t want to suffer like I did again. Or lose the ones I love. Being here teaching is what is best. I get to see young talented Witches and Wizards grow up in a really good environment. Much safer now than it was when I was here that is for sure. Dumbledore risked children’s lives. It isn’t exactly great. Don’t get me wrong, I loved him. He was like a grandfather to me but some of his ideas were warped or misjudged. He can be manipulative. I sighed and moved away from the window. I waved my wand. 7pm. I have missed dinner at the great hall. I walked down, taking my time and just enjoying my surroundings. I made it to the kitchens expecting to see elves but they were actually wizards. Hermione would be happy.  
“Hello? I missed dinner, I was wondering if I could get something to eat?” I asked looking at the four adult wizards. One with jet black hair rolled his eyes whilst the other 3 stared at me.  
“Ugh fine but don’t miss dinner next time. We aren’t elves.” The one with black hair warned. I rolled my eyes and waited at the door until they were done. They handed me a plate of chicken and mash which was alright. I walked to my quarters and ate it quickly. I heard pecking at my window. I put my nearly empty plate down and opened the window. Sherlock holding a letter. It was Draco. I could tell by the stamp. I gave Sherlock the last of my chicken and he flew off into the night. I opened it and began to read. 

Dear Mr Potter,  
What to write? Scorpius’s birth mother died due to illness. I had zero connection to her apart from the fact she was me and Neville’s surrogate. But Scorpius will be heartbroken. They were close to each other. So please look out for him. On Christmas Eve, my family holds a yule ball. I was wondering if you wanted to come, it will be my way to apologize to you for all my years of teasing you. You and a plus one are invited. See you soon.  
Kind Regards  
Draco Malfoy.  
P.S. Don’t bring a weasley, you know they will have a hand me down robe. (That was a joke)  
I laughed as I put the letter down. Draco and Neville. I would not have thought that would happen. I went to collect the plate but it was already gone. It was replaced by a note which read. Mr Potter, Make it to dinner on time. And it was by the headmistress. I could tell by the scribble. I laughed and placed the letter and the note into a small desk drawer. I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I was wondering what Sevira will be doing? And how I will persuade her to leave Robert. He was quite obviously abusive. But why do I care? It is none of my business. But it feels like it is. I hated the feeling. Days like this I wish Hermione and Ron were here. They would help me make my mind up. We haven’t kept in contact with each other. I have been busy with my life and they have been busy with theirs. Yes we see each other at Christmas but we don’t chat for long. I am usually dragged by Ginny to wherever she wants to go. Which is to bed and not to sleep. Oh how I wish it was to go to sleep. I love ginny. I reminded myself. I do, she brought my children into the world. I had to love her for that. I waved the thoughts away. Ginny is my wife and I love her. Those were the last thoughts before I felt myself fall into a deep sleep.

The weeks leading up to Christmas eve were bad. The classes were not going well. I lost my temper an awful lot. I kept noticing bruises on Sevira's face and neck. Apparently her Husband decided to move to England so he was staying with Sevira in their quarters until he found a house for all three of them. Nightmare. I couldn’t speak to her about it as he was always there. After every lesson, Breakfast, lunch and dinner. It was a nightmare. I got really concerned about Sevira’s health physically and Mentally. I noticed she wasn’t eating again, only small and I mean extremely small portions. I saw in the third week that Robert moved into Hogwarts temporarily that he was plating her small portions.  
“I am sure Sevira is able to plate her own plate.” I commented as we were currently all sitting on the head table for dinner.. Sevira tensed and Robert glared at me.  
“You know she has a heart defect right? She can’t eat a lot or it could harm her.” Robert sneered.  
“You are barely giving her any food. All she is having is two sausages. It is also bad for her to eat the bare minimum.” I warned and it was very much true.  
“How about this Professor Potter? How about you leave me and my wife and my child alone. You are not in charge of us.” Robert sneered. I slumped in my chair and looked at the students who were mingling to each other. What can I do? He is right, I am not in charge. I ate my dinner quickly. I need to get her away. The yule ball at Draco’s. I could invite her to that. That will at least get her away from him for a few hours.  
“Sevira? I am invited to Draco’s yule ball party on Christmas eve. Will you accompany me as my plus one?” I asked, making a funny gesture. She laughed but cowered slightly when Robert looked at her.  
“Yes, I would love to go.” She replied smiling.  
“No she can’t, she is busy. Don’t you remember Sevira, that we are looking at houses that day and night?” Robert asked, pretending to joke. Sevira nodded.  
“I am sorry, I forgot. Sorry Harry.” Sevira said looking around her. I left quickly so I would not say anything I would regret. I walked into my quarters and began marking to keep my mind off it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings. See tags. 
> 
> Short chapter I know. I am sorry.

I walked into Malfoy expecting to see a small group of people but it turns out Draco and Neville invited the whole of the wizarding world. I laughed at the thought. This place was massive. I took the firewhisky off the table and went to find someone to talk to. I felt like the odd one out. I couldn’t see anyone I knew apart from Neville and Draco. I spotted them and began to walk up to greet them.   
“Hello Neville and Draco. I would like to thank you for inviting me. I didn’t bring a plus one.” I said, smiling at the two of them. Neville smiled at me and Draco stood awkwardly.   
“I thought you would invite my Godfather no… my Godmother now, with you?” Draco asked, looking around for her.   
“Unfortunately She is busy with Robert finding houses as they are moving back to England.” I commented, taking a swig of my whisky. I just wanted to forget that I left Sevira with him.   
“I hate him. Robert I mean. He seems to have his motives twisted. Something is off with him.” Draco commented. Neville went off to talk to someone. Me and Draco stood next to the stoned steps.   
“Yeah or the fact he is hitting her.” I started but instantly regretted it. I shouldn’t have said that. I looked down and not at Draco’s reaction.   
“He what! And you are just letting him!” Draco stuttered, He was angry at me and Robert.   
“What else can I do! I have to respect Sevira’s wishes. I won’t go against her. All we can do is be there for her for when she is ready to leave him.” I rebutted. Draco relaxed and nodded. By this point I downed my whisky.   
“Sorry for getting annoyed. Sevira has been put through so much shit. That we can’t even begin to imagine. I suggest we come up with some kind of plan to help her Harry.” Draco declared. I nodded.   
“You called me Harry!” I said surprised. Draco rolled his eyes.   
“Shut it!” He joked back, hitting my shoulder. Turns out Draco Malfoy was nicer than I first thought. The night went on and I think I had about 8 drinks before apparating back to Godric's Hollow. It was the festive break. I stumbled through the door and was confronted by a pissed Ginny who was in her nightgown. I looked at her through blurry eyes.   
“It is 2am, you have children Harry.” Ginny confronted. I rolled my eyes.   
“I am allowed to have fun Ginny.” I replied, slightly slurred. I could hear her sigh. I walked well, stumbled past her into the living room and sat down. Everything was spinning.   
“You told me that you would be there for 2 hours and that you wouldn’t get drunk.” Ginny stated as she stood in front of me.   
“Well… I lost track of time. Shit happens.” I replied back, waving her off. She was being silly.   
“You haven’t been right since you came back from Hogwarts. Maybe you should quit.” Ginny said. I scoffed.   
“I haven’t been right because I didn’t want to come home Gin. I hate living in the house my parents died in. What do you expect?” I responded, looking at her. Ginny stood for a few minutes staring at me in disbelief.   
“Why didn’t you say?” Ginny complained. I sighed.   
“I didn’t have a choice did I? You wouldn’t listen to me.” I said, sighing. I could feel the alcohol evaporate. I looked at her, I felt nothing. Not love more like hatred. And I hated myself for it.  
“I don’t remember voicing your concern.” Ginny argued. I looked at her.   
“Well I did, You were too busy talking about how good you were at quidditch.” I rebutted back. Ginny looked shocked.  
“I am not that selfish Harry.” She complained. I scoffed.   
“You could have fooled me oh wait you have.” I replied. I knew it was mean but I didn’t care anymore.   
“You're sleeping down here tonight.” Ginny said, rushing out. Probably going to cry. Which I don’t care about. What worried me is that I don’t feel guilty or anything. I just feel like I am being honest. I lay down and fell into a bad sleep. 

I woke up to the light shining through the opened curtains. I heard voices coming from the kitchen. I stumbled into a wave of air smelling like bacon. Albus, James and Lily were sitting around the dining room table waiting on their breakfast. Ginny was rushing around cooking. I sat beside them.   
“James, I forgot to ask. What was your punishment for bullying Flora?” I asked, looking at him. James looked at Ginny who was now giving him a death glare.   
“I had to clean every inch of Sevira’s classroom and office, A bit too far.” James said.   
“I think that is a perfect Punishment and don’t think you are not getting a punishment here young man.” I warned. Ginny came over with a pan of bacon and placed it on all our plates and sat down at the end of the table.   
“What?!” James exclaimed, flailing his arms about. I looked at Ginny who was looking at me.  
“You are grounded. For the next week you will be doing the washing up and you will have to do all your homework with me.” I concluded. James glared at me and I gave him a warning look. James slumped as he ate his bacon roll in a mood.   
“So, Lils. How was life without me?” I joked. She finished what she was eating and looked at me and smiled.  
“Good, I spent most of the time with Mummy and my uncle Ron.” She said as she began to eat again. We spent the morning in silence. The children decided to play in the garden which left me and Ginny in the kitchen.   
“I am sorry for last night Ginny.” I said, smiling gently. Ginny sat across from me and grabbed my hand and smiled.   
“It is fine.” She replied. I sighed. She can’t say sorry at all.   
“Why can you not say sorry for anything? What you said was wrong Gin” I complained. Ginny retracted her hand.  
“What? What did I say that was wrong Harry?” She asked with a seething undertone.   
“When you said I should quit my job that I love so much.” I replied, sighing. Ginny laughed mockingly.   
“Seriously?! That is what I said wrong?” She countered. I scowled at her.   
“You cannot see what you did wrong. It has been going on for years Ginny” I complained. At this point I felt angry. Ginny looked at me with anger but sadness in her eyes.   
“Go back to Hogwarts Harry. I don’t want to see you right now.” She replied, waving me off. I scoffed.  
“You are fucking unbelivable. Merry Fucking Christmas” I said going to the floo. I was given permission to floo to Hogwarts and I did. I entered my quarters and slammed my door. I sat on the edge of my bed. I didn’t feel bad for what I said because it was the truth. Why should I lie? 

I walked into the great hall. I could only see about ten students and the head table was quiet. The only teacher I could see was Sevira and she was sitting alone. I walked quickly and sat beside her. I felt better just seeing her. She looked at me and smiled. I could see a new bruise on her right eye. I looked down sadly.   
“Where’s Robert?” I asked. Sevira sighed and looked away.   
“His mother fell ill, so he left to look after her.” She replied, sadly. I couldn’t help but smile. I plated her food making sure she ate.   
“Merry Christmas. Where’s Flora?” I asked, looking around the hall.   
“With her father.” Sevira admitted. She began to eat.   
“I see, well since it is Christmas. Do you want to come to my quarters for a drink?” I asked as I finished eating. Sevira nodded in response. She ate everything. 

“You are more quiet than usual Potter?” Sevira observed, She sat on my small sofa drinking wine. This was her 4th glass. I looked at her and took a swig of my whisky.   
“It is just my crumbling marriage.” I replied, sipping my fourth drink.  
“You and me both, look at us. Our life has come to shit.” Sevira commented. I had to agree.   
“Cheers to that.” I cheered and clinked our glasses. Sevira smiled and looked at me. She moved closer and reached across for my hand. She pulled my hand to her cheek. Her cheek was warm. I knew she was drunk.   
“You are drunk Sevira,” I commented. I laughed. Sevira moved closer. Her knees were touching mine.   
“So are you.” She whispered. I felt my face go red.   
“Fuck it” I said before attacking her mouth. She fell back on the sofa and I was over her.   
“You are married, Sevira.” I warned in between kisses. Sevira looked at me.  
“So are you.” She replied, moving my hands to her waist. I went to her neck.  
“I suppose.” I replied. Truth be told, I didn’t care. Sevira moved so I was in between her legs.   
“Can you get a move on.” Sevira moaned. And so I did. 

The next morning, I woke up to movement around me. I looked over to see Sevira try to sneak out.  
“Leaving without a goodbye.” I commented as I yawned. Sevira turned around and stood in silence.  
“Come here.” I said. I opened my arms. Sevira started to panic but came over anyway. She wrapped her arms around me and sighed.   
“What are you thinking?” I asked. Sevira looked at me and smiled gently.   
“That my husband and your wife will kill me.” She commented. I can see the worry and anxiety in her eyes.   
“Well, we will have to not tell anyone that this happened. I will not want you to get hurt.” I commented. It is true, I would be so guilty if she got hurt. Ginny won’t know. I am sure of it.   
“I think it is time for me to leave Robert.” Sevira sadly said as she lay her head on my chest.   
“Good. He doesn’t deserve you anyway.” I replied. I faced her.   
“And you do?” Sevira scoffed. I laughed.   
“No I don’t” I truthfully told her. 

We went our separate ways after that. Sevira avoided me like the plague and I started writing a book about my adventures. I was sad we weren’t talking but I can’t force her to be with me. All I can do is divorce Ginny and get on with my life. I was sad that my life I created with Ginny was disappearing. I still had my children and for that I am grateful. They seem to be the only normal thing about my life. I wrote on the parchment allowing the words to fall onto it. I wrote about my adventures in my first year at hogwarts. My snarky potions Professor and the Philosopher's stone. That was a weird way to start my life at Hogwarts. But it gave me my two best friends Hermione and Ron. I placed my quill back in the ink and looked out the window. Air is what I need . I walked down the corridor slowly, just looking at the walls and the ceiling. I walked past the storage cupboard. I stopped and looked at it. I could hear moaning. I walked quietly up to it. I peeked through the crack of the door. It was Sevira and Robert. I gasped, which made Sevira stop and look at the door and all I could do was run. I ran until I couldn’t anymore. I was near the forbidden forest. Panting. Good I didn’t become an auror. I looked at the darkness which consumed the forest. I hadn’t dared to go in since the confrontation with Voldemort after I viewed Sevira’s memories. It didn’t have nice memories. It never did. I walked the edge of it just looking around me and breathing the air that smelled like rain. My mind went back to the storage cupboard. I couldn’t be angry, it was her husband. What we did was wrong on so many levels. I didn’t regret it but we shouldn’t be cheating. It isn't right. I kicked the leaves around me. For winter, it wasn’t that cold. I did question why Robert was back, maybe his mum got better. Dinner was quiet. I couldn’t look at Sevira, I was embarrassed for witnessing such an event and wishing that was me not Fish brain Robert.   
“Hi Mr Potter.” Robert said, smiling at me. He seemed to be in a good mood. I looked at him.   
“Hello Robert. How are you?” I asked to bring my fork of potatoes to my mouth.   
“I am good, Just back from France actually. Flora is staying with her uncle so I could spend some christmas with my wife,” Robert said, smiling. I couldn’t help but feel guilty.   
“That is good, Merry Christmas and a happy new year.” I said, cheersing him with my glass. I smiled at Sevira who smiled back.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know short chapter. I have hit a writers block but I don't want to stop as I know I will just not come back.

Months turned into a year. Me and Ginny divorced. She got custody of all the three children. Much to my reluctance. I get to see all of them during holidays due to me being a teacher. I won’t lie and say I didn’t miss them. I did. Ginny won the custody battle with the reason of ‘She has experience with children due to her siblings.’. I hated myself for just giving up. Walking the school halls and getting glares off my three children. Ron told me that they believed that I had given up on them when that was the least truthful thing I have heard. I kept telling them that I didn’t give up and I am here at the school if they wish to talk but they never did. I sat in my quarters drinking wine and drowning in my sorrows. My mind went to the last day of summer which was two months ago where I met up with Sevira. 

‘“We shouldn’t do this!” Sevira pleaded after our third sexual encounter. I looked at her and smiled gently.   
“I know but you came to me Sevira. You can’t blame me fully. You are a married woman.” I commented.   
“I know. My fault. I have to go, Robert will be wondering where I am.” Sevira said, putting on her shoes and her cloak. She quickly left.’

I swirled the wine in the glass, looking at my marking. I was probably a tad strict with my second years but I didn’t feel bad about it. I wasn’t sad that Ginny divorced me, I was glad but I was angry that I had no one except from Ron and Hermione. Sevira has been avoiding me. And I couldn’t stop thinking about it,her. I couldn’t sleep. I tried to. But whenever I shut my eyes I see Sevira die in the shrieking shack. The next morning I walked down to the great hall. I made sure to smile at my three children. Lily got into Gryffindor. Much to Albus’s distaste. Al seemed to be the only one who was willing to talk to me. Even if it was rare. I sat beside Sevira. Robert was nowhere to be seen. I plated food and watched Sevira eating her eggs. She has been eating way more recently and I am proud. This time she didn't leave when I sat down. Progress. We sat in silence as we ate. Minerva was talking to Professor Sprout about plants. Sounded fun. I looked at the students and my eyes made their way to Flora who was talking to Albus. I smiled. I drank my wine.  
“Do you want any wine Sevira?” I asked, noticing her empty glass. Sevira shook her head.  
“No thank you. I am not drinking anymore.” Sevira said, smiling. I smiled back and placed the jug of wine down.   
“Good for you. Alcohol is bad for you.” I said as I ironically drank from my glass of wine.   
“Where is Robert this fine morning?” I asked. Sevira looked at me.   
“Home. We got a house in Brighton so It is easier to get too.” I nodded. At least she is closer to me. 

The morning classes went smoothly except from James injuring one of the students. Accidentally apparently. I didn’t believe him but excused him as there was no evidence it was on purpose.   
“Now tell me, what is the name of someone who can read minds?” I asked my year 2 students. I looked around. Albus raised his hand. I nodded.  
“Mind reader?” Albus replied, I rolled my eyes at that. I remembered my occlumency lessons with Severus in my 5th year.  
“Only muggles talk of ‘mind reading’. The mind is not a book, to be opened at will or examined at leisure. Thoughts are not etched on the inside of skulls, to be perused by any invader. The mind is a complex and many-layered thing or at least most minds are. The correct answer would be Legillimence.” I recalled. I smiled a little. Albus looked at me and glared before talking to Scorpius. I sighed. It will be a long time until they have forgiven me.   
“Sir!” A student came running in, by her tie I could tell she was a Ravenclaw. I looked at her in worry.   
“It is Professor Prince sir. She is being sick into one of the cauldrons” the Ravenclaw rambled. She was obviously out of breath from running from the dungeons.   
“Why didn’t you get another teacher?” I asked, walking towards the door.   
“She asked for you sir.” The Ravenclaw said. At that point I panicked.   
“Class dismissed.” I said going off into a run. I ran past many teachers without a word. The Ravenclaw girl was running behind me. We made it to the potions class and I stormed in to see Sevira sitting on the floor. She must have dismissed the class. I ran up to her and placed my hand on her forehead.   
“I am fine Potter” Sevira said, swiping my hand away, I gestured for the ravenclaw to go.  
“You asked for me Sevira” I commented. Sevira rolled her eyes.   
“I suppose so. Sorry I don’t need you” She replied putting her head between her legs.   
“What’s wrong then?” I asked. Sevira looked at me.   
“I’m pregnant. Again.” Sevira admitted and I looked at her.   
“Robert’s or mine?” I asked.   
“I don’t know.” Sevira admitted, shoulders slumping. I gulped. Hope to God it is Robert’s, he will kill her if it isn’t his.   
“Let’s hope it’s Roberts. I don’t want him to hurt you if it is mine.” I replied. I was panicking.  
“We split up a week ago.” Sevira admitted. I couldn’t help but smile. My smile faded when I noticed tears in her eyes.   
“Why?” I asked, stupid question. I knew why. He was abusing her. That is why she left.   
“It doesn’t matter. It is over now. I can finally sleep.” She said, breaking into tears. I wrapped my arms around her. I spotted the vomit next to us. I held on to her for what seemed forever.   
“Flora?” I asked, I was still hugging her. She sniffed and curled into my shoulder.   
“Robert has full custody of her. Apparently cause I have bad mental health as they say I am an unfit mother. Ironic since I am bringing this little one into a world where it’s mother is mentally ill.” Sevira ranted on. I shushed her.   
“Stop this. You are a fantastic mother Sevira. If Robert says that. Fuck him, he doesn’t deserve you and Flora. You will be a perfect mother to that little one. I promise.” I soothed.   
“Miss? I need help with my homework.” A year 1 Slytherin asked from the doorway. Sevira untangled herself from me and wiped her eyes before acknowledging the little girl.   
“Right, What do you need help with?” Sevira asked as she walked slowly to her desk. I cleaned up the sick and leaned against the tables. The young girl walked up as quickly as she could to the desk.   
“One of the questions asked what a bezoar was. You didn’t teach us that.” She said, pointing to it on the parchment. Sevira smirked and took it.   
“Ah, you are right so tell me. What do you think it is, Holly?” She asked, looking at her. She is definitely nicer from when I had her. I was slightly jealous. I sighed.   
“Is it… something that you use to help you in some way.” She suggested. Wrong, I said in my head. Sevira just smiled gently. Sevira stood up and lifted a chair to her desk for Holly to sit. Even though she could have used magic. You do wonder.   
“Let me tell you what it is but you have to write it down. Here is a quill and a piece of parchment.” Sevira said, giving her a quill and parchment. I just looked at them dreamily.  
“A bezoar is a stone like a mass which is taken from the stomach of a goat. Disgusting isn’t it? It acts like an antidote to most poisons with venom from a Basilisk being the only exception.” Sevira said slowly, giving Holly enough time to write.   
“Thank you miss. See you tomorrow” Holly said before running off. Sevira waven a bye before sitting back down in a slump.   
“I wish you taught me like that.” I joked, walking up to her, Sevira just rolled her black opal eyes and looked at me.   
“Well I would have if you weren’t Harry Potter and I wasn’t a double agent you know.” Sevira replied. My smile vanished.   
“Well, good that is over eh? Or we wouldn’t be friends.” I reminded.   
“Good point. Don’t go around spreading the news. I am only 2 months along.” Sevira pleaded. I nodded. I wouldn’t say I wasn’t scared. 

Hogsmede was quiet for it being the christmas season. My children decided to spend Christmas with their grandparents. I obviously was not invited much to Ron’s annoyance. I assured him it was alright. Hermione agreed to have christmas with me on boxing day. I walked into Gladrags Wizardwear to find jumpers for me and Sevira to wear on christmas day as Flora and Robert are gonna be in New Zealand for the holidays. I found a green, high neck Jumper, that will do for Sevira and I picked up one in red. May as well represent our Hogwarts houses. I paid and quickly left. I walked back to Hogwarts slowly. I made sure to get Sevira a bigger size, she is three months along but I at least want her to wear longer than once. I made my way to the dungeons and knocked on Sevira’s door. She opened it, and allowed me in with a smile. I walked in. I walked to the coffee table and placed my bag down, I pulled out the two jumpers. I passed one to Sevira and she put it on. Her bump was barely visible but it was there if you really looked for it.   
“Gorgeous” I complimented. I put mine on but it was way too big.  
“It is a bit big.” Sevira commented while looking at her large sleeves.   
“It is so you can wear it until the wee baby is born.” I said putting the reusable bag into the bag cupboard. Sevira smiled.   
“Did you go to Pomfrey?” I asked pouring a glass of wine and a glass of orange for Sevira which she didn’t like.   
“Yes, I was told I could find out the gender but I didn’t want to know.” She admitted sitting on the sofa. I passed her drink and I sat next to her.   
“I bet it is another girl,” I replied. I knew I was right. Sevira rolled her eyes.   
“I bet it is a boy. In fact I know it is.” She replied. I rolled my eyes in response.  
“Did Pomfrey check your heart?” I asked, I was nervous to know.   
“She did” Sevira stated, not looking at me.   
“And? Is it bad?” I asked, placing my glass down.   
“Yes and no. I don’t want to talk about it.” Sevira stated. I looked at her and sighed.   
“I swear, if something happens, I will be annoyed.” I warned. I placed my hand on her shoulder. Sevira looked at me and smiled gently. We decided to spend christmas eve and day together. I didn’t want her to be alone on a day that is supposed to be around family. We didn’t feel we had one.


	9. Chapter 9

“First years! I know you are excited to be back with your classmates, now let’s focus.” I yelled over the laughing and talking. The children only looked at me before continuing to talk.   
“Quiet!!” I yelled, throwing the papers on my desk creating a bang like noise. The children stopped talking and looked at me shocked. I walked around my desk and looked at them.  
“When I say to be quiet you will do so.” I warned, raising my voice a little. I spotted Lily shifting awkwardly in her seat before I continued.   
“Right,good. The homework I set to be done for after the holidays was awful. We have standards in this classroom. Lily, tell me what is an imp? It was a question on the homework which you so happened to miss out.” I commented, sitting on the edge of my desk. Lily looked at me awkwardly.  
“An Imp is a magical beast only found in Britain and ireland and uh they are known for their slapstick humour.” Lily replied as if it was a question. I clapped slowly.   
“Correct, Why didn’t you write that on your homework? Everyone writes what Lily just said, not all of you wrote that down.” I ordered. Lily looked down and at her friend beside her.  
“I don’t know sir.” She replied not looking at me. I just hummed before handing out everyone's homework score. I was disappointed in all of them. I walked back to my desk.  
“I am disappointed. In all of you. How are you supposed to pass your NEWTS if you can’t even answer a homework paper correctly. Well done Hugo Granger-Weasley for doing all of your homework and getting it right. 5 points to Gryffindor.” I commented, standing in front of tem with my arms crossed. The Gryffindors clapped in happiness at getting 5 points.   
“Silence. 10 points away from Gryffindor for clapping without a proper reason.” I declared, all of them slumped. Slytherins smiled. I looked at them making those smiles disappear. I sat down at my desk.  
“Now, today is a study session. You will be studying chapters 1 to 10. Do you understand?” I said. I heard a hum in reply. I didn’t look at them for the rest of the class. 

I walked down to the great hall for dinner. I would have got it delivered to my quarters but I suppose I better show my face after a week of not showing up. I sat beside Sevira who was eating her potatoes. I just drank my wine, I wasn’t hungry anyway.   
“I heard you were strict on the first years,” Sevira commented, looking at me. I looked at her and smiled.   
“They don’t seem to be able to listen so I thought of taking the Snape approach.” I joked. Sevira laughed sarcastically and drank her water in one. I looked over to Minerva who was talking to Flitwick. Hagrid was nowhere to be seen. I stood up and pushed my chair in and said goodbye to Sevira before heading off to Hagrid’s hut. It was a cold evening. I wrapped my arms around myself until I reached the door. I knocked a few times. No answer. Odd. I looked through all the windows. Nothing.   
“You won’t find him here Potter.” Minerva said from behind me. How did she know I was here? I walked towards her.   
“Where is he Headmistress?” I asked looking around,   
“He quit this morning, saying something about having another job somewhere. He apparated out before I could question it.” Minerva said sadly. He didn’t say goodbye to me or anyone. I looked down. I felt more lonely than I already am. Minerva walked towards me and held me by the shoulder covering me with her green cloak. We walked back to the School building like this. It felt nice. She walked me to my quarters before departing with a quick hug. I lay down in bed staring at the ceiling thinking about how my life has turned out. Ginny Divorced me. Which I wasn’t sad about. My children aren’t talking to me. Ron and Hermione are busy. The only good thing about my life is the fact that Sevira is in it. How corny that sounds. I didn’t care. We live in a world where we seem to live in a lie. All through my life I was trapped saving the wizarding world and now I am free. Is this what free feels like? It feels like a prison. A prison I can’t get out of. I want to go back where I would spend the year trying to figure out how Voldemort will attack next. 5th year was one of the most life changing years of School I have ever had except the last year where I actually defeated the dark lord. My 5th year where I started up Dumbledore’s army. A place where we would laugh, learn new defence spells and just have a good time. Neville laughing, Hermione laughing and Ron laughing. I miss those days. Innocent days. I guess once you leave Hogwarts you leave the last of your childhood behind, not like I got a good childhood anyways. Uncle Vernon passed away from a heart surgery in 2013. I went to the funeral but left quickly after. Even though Vernon was an abusive bastard, years after the defeat of Voldemort, Uncle Vernon and Petunia took me out for dinner and apologized. From then on we kept in contact. We would have sunday dinners just like a normal family. Which made me and even Hermione think that the reason the Dursleys hated me growing up was because I was a horcrux. Look what happened with Ron when he wore the necklace. They spent years with me as a horcrux that must have been draining. Petunia and Dudley still keep in contact but don’t want to talk about magic which I agree to. It can get tiring. 

Tap. Tap. Tap. I looked over to see Sherlock the owl tapping the window. I sighed and got up and unlatched the window. I took the letter before petting Sherlock. I opened it ans sat on the edge of my bed.

‘Dear Potter,  
You are invited to dinner with Me and my family. Blame Neville for this. He wants to see you. I do hope you can make it. Well Neville does. I don’t care. Tomorrow night at 6pm be there or be square. (Scorpius says that all the time I don’t know what it means).   
Sincerely,  
Draco Malfoy.  
P.S. Bring Sevira

How very muggle for Draco. I smiled as I placed the letter on my desk. Dinner with the Malfoy’s does that mean Lucius and Narcissa would be there? I don’t mind Narcissa. Ot os Lucius I worry about. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. The warmth felt nice. 

Knock. Knock. I put on clothes quickly and opened the door to see Sevira. I smiled at her.  
“Hello, Sevira. Come in.” I said, opening the door and getting a towel and drying my hair. Sevira made her way to my sofa and sat down. I looked at her. She was sitting quietly. I sat beside her placing the towel beside me.   
“What have I done to expect such a visit?” I asked, looking at her.  
“No reason. I just wanted to see you.” Sevira replied, smiling. I nodded and smiled.   
“How are you feeling?” I asked. Sevira looked at me.   
“Everything is fine. He/She is fine. I do have a lot of heartburn but according to Pomfrey that is normal for me since of my heart defect.” Sevira commented. I looked at her.   
“Are there any potions that can help you?” I asked, pouring water into a glass and gave it to her.   
“Yes, but I would prefer not to. Anway, I am not here to talk about me. Tell me what is wrong? You aren’t yourself.” Sevira gently said. I looked at her but looked away. I was embarrassed. I am supposed to be the strong one. I have to be strong for her.   
“I’m fine.” I lied, looking at her and giving a somewhat smile. Sevira moved closer to me and placed her hand on mine.   
“C’mon, Harry you are not okay. You haven’t been for a while. Tell me. I am here for you.” Sevira gently said. I didn’t look at her.   
“I know it is silly. Look I am going to start crying.” I said, tears starting to run down my face.  
“I feel alone. My children are not talking to me. I feel like no one seems to be there for me except from you. I feel like no one loves me. I know that is just silly but I just feel so alone.” I admitted, tears streaming down my face. I looked at Sevira through blurry eyes. I felt her hand wiping my tears away.   
“It isn’t silly to feel like that Harry. You spent years in school around people who stood beside you but now you don’t. It is okay to miss that. I miss that sometimes I remember in your 6th year when I had put my potions book in the cupboard for you to find and when you did and you were finally passing potions, I was so proud. I am still proud of you. You have come so far. Your children will come around. They have too. That’s what I hope for when it comes to Flora. If it is any comfort, I love you because you are strong. You are brave. You are my personal hero. You saved me in 2004. If it wasn’t for you I would be still suffering from an eating disorder or worse I would be dead.” Sevira comforted. I looked at her, tears streaming down my face. She was proud of me in my 6th year. I wrapped my arms around her forcefully. She hugged me back. She placed her hand in my hair and held me tightly. For the first time in years I felt like someone actually cared.   
“Thank you Sev.” I said into her shoulder. She just sighed and held me tighter.   
“Don’t bottle up your feelings Harry. Trust me. I have done it the majority of my life. If you need to talk about it, it doesn’t matter how silly it may be. You can come to me.” Sevira said as she let me go.   
“I am invited to dinner with the Malfoy’s. You can come. I would be more comfortable with you there Vira.” I suggested. She shifted uncomfortably.   
“I will have to wear my cloak so they don’t see.” Sevira grumbled.   
“Don’t. Please come.” I begged.   
“Fine. Fine. You owe me big time.” She replied, giving me a joking smirk. I clapped and smiled.  
“Apparently it is a formal dress dinner.” I commented. Sevira groaned in annoyance. I laughed.

“You look gorgeous Sevira. Don’t be ridiculous.”I said as we approached the door of the Malfoy’s. Sevira was beside me brushing her dress with her hands. She was wearing a long sleeve, tea-length cocktail dress with a floral lace which created an illusion on her neckline. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. She was also wearing a cloak in an attempt to hide her small bump but the black dress worked perfectly fine. I knocked on the door and we waited. Sevira looked anxious. I grabbed her hand quickly and let go once the door opened.   
“Oh, lovely to see you Mr Potter and Miss Prince.” Lucius welcomed, and welcomed us in. I knew Lucius had somewhat redeemed himself but I was still scared of him in a way. We walked into what looked like a dining room. I remember it from the party. Draco, Neville and Narcissa were already sitting and talking. I can sense the fear from Sevira.   
“Hello, Welcome. Sit down please.” Neville stood gesturing to me and Sevira to our seats. I took off Sevira Cloak and we both sat down quickly.   
“Wine?” Narcissa asked, picking up a bottle of wine and grabbing our glasses.   
“For me yes but Sevira isn’t drinking anymore” I commented, taking the wine glass from Narcissa and thanking her. Narcissa looked at Sevira and her eyes wandered down, she looked at her and smiled gently with a knowing sparkle in her eye. Sevira took an anxious intake of breath. I placed my foot on her leg gently. Dinner was potatoes and sausages. Bangers and Mash. It was delicious. Sevira ate hers pretty quickly and Lucius got her a glass of water. Generous.  
“So, Potter. I hear you are now a teacher at Hogwarts?” Lucius asked, taking a sip of his wine.   
“Yes, I am teaching Defence against the dark arts.” I said. Placing my knife and fork on my empty plate. Lucius just smirked.   
“Ah, that used to be Severus… Sevira’s dream position. It is a pity.” Lucius said as if he was gloating about something.   
“I never wanted the job especially after the war.” Sevira commented. Draco and Neville were talking quietly and Narcissa was sitting with a smile just listening to our awkward conversation.   
“Fascinating.” Lucius drawled out. Narcissa coughed.   
“Let’s not scare our guests dear. After all, Draco is the one who invited Harry and Sevira.” Narcissa scolded. Lucius slumped in his chair.   
“So Harry, I am sorry to hear about your divorce from Ginny.” Draco said softly as he could but came out cold. I waved it off.   
“Yeah, it just wasn’t meant to be I guess.” I said, smiling sadly. Draco nodded.   
“So, How are the children? Are they alright?” Neville asked, concerned. I looked down.  
“They seem fine, Let’s just say they aren’t talking to me but let's leave it at that eh?” I asked, sighing. Sevira sighed as well. Everyone looked sorry for me, even Lucius. It made me uncomfortable. We left shortly after that, Sevira was walking beside me to the gate of Malfoy Manor.   
“That was awkward as fuck.Wasn’t it?” I suggested, laughing. She didn’t reply. She didn’t reply until we got to Hogwarts. I walked the path. I stopped. Sevira wasn’t beside me. I turned around to see her lying on her face. I ran to her and found her unconscious. 

I sat beside her bed in the infirmary. Pomfrey was scanning her. I couldn’t stop counting her breaths. They were small.   
“What is wrong? She was fine all night.” I said, panicking. Madam Pomfrey, sighed before stepping back from Sevira.   
“For the first time. I don’t know what is wrong with her. Her heart is failing but tests show that it isn’t her heartbeat.” Pomfrey said, I could see the frustration in her eyes. I grabbed Sevira’s hand. Her heart is failing.   
“What about the baby?” I asked, looking at Pomfrey with blurry eyes.   
“Baby? She’s pregnant.” Pomfrey asked, with a panic. Sevira wasn’t going to her appointments. She lied to me. That doesn’t matter. Pomfrey scanned Sevira again. With a wave her wand. I heard a faint heartbeat.   
“Baby is fine. She or he is fine. I will put Sevira on a nutrient drip, That should be enough to keep the baby alive for now.” Pomfrey said, panic leaving her voice. I sighed in relief.   
“Is it yours?” Pomfrey asked. Looking at me with a gentle smile.   
“I don’t know.” I replied sadly. She waved her wand again.   
“Do you want to know?” She asked, smiling at me. I thought about it. Would Sevira want me to know? I shook my head. I can only hope he or she is mine. I just want Sevira to be okay.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning/// Mentions of losing a child (Stillborn). Please do not read this if you are affected by this.

Two months later. She has still not woken up. I had another teacher take my place as a defence teacher. I was not fit to teach. Minerva agreed. Potions were now taught by Lucius Malfoy. Hopefully not for long. I can’t stand Lucius visiting Sevira at night when I wasn’t there. Pomfrey told me. I began to sleep on the cot beside Sevira. I did not want to leave her, especially with him. She was now 5 months pregnant and she didn’t even know. It is horrible to see someone that you look upon as being big and strong and seeing them reduced to weak and vulnerable. I just feel helpless. But all I could do is hold her hand. I talk to her sometimes. Just stories. Some real and some made up. I guess it makes me feel better. I just imagine she is asleep. Pomfrey still has not figured out what was wrong with her. There was a possibility that Sevira will be moved to St Mungo’s for further testing if she doesn’t wake up by the end of the week. That was the most likely scenario. Good news was that the Baby was healthy. Guests came and went. Minerva came and talked with me, Draco popped by with Neville. They looked sad and shocked. Hermione and Ron brought me sandwiches and talked with me. The longest chat I have had with them in 5 years.  
“Stay safe Harry. We love you” Hermione said as she left with Ron. Ron had given me a hug. He held onto me tightly. I smiled. At least he didn’t hate me for divorcing Ginny. 

Tonight was a different experience. I went down to dinner but ended up coming back to the infirmary to find Lucius forcing something down Sevira’s throat. I pushed him to the ground and pointed my wand at him.  
“What were you doing!!” I shouted from above him.  
“I was giving her some water!!” Lucius replied, cowering away from me. I looked over at Sevira’s bedside to see spilled water on the ground next to an empty plastic cup. I sighed. I put my wand down.  
“I am sorry.” I said, quietly. Holding my hand out to help him up. He took it and smiled.  
“It is fine Mr Potter. I can see why you would react like that.” Lucius said, standing up. I stepped away. I felt guilty.  
“I am sorry Mr Malfoy. I am just really stressed out.” I said, not wanting to look at him.  
“I understand. How about I stay with Sevira for a few days and you take a break.” Lucius suggested. I swayed on my feet.  
“No. No. It is fine but thank you so much. If I want to take a break I will contact you.” I replied back. Lucius nodded.  
“Well take care.” He replied as he made his leave. I let out a breath that I was holding. I walked over to the Chair beside the bed and took her hand. She looked peaceful. Just like she was asleep. 

(Seviras POV)  
The sun was bright in the sky. Hogwarts was as beautiful as always. I walked along the grass beside the black lake. I sometimes hear a voice in my head. I couldn’t tell who it was. I knew the place I was in wasn’t real. I wasn’t pregnant and no one was here apart from the ghosts at Hogwarts. I didn’t feel alone. I felt at peace. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. But I was at peace. Dreamland. I remember going to dinner at the Malfoy’s and then everything going black once we arrived at the gates of the school. I am still wearing my dress, I can’t seem to find other clothes. I walked into the empty school and walked up to the infirmary. I felt like I was being pulled there. I walked in to see myself lying on one of the beds. I looked sickly. I heard someone walk in. It was Lucius. He held a cup in his hand and started pouring it down my throat. It burned. I could feel it burning my throat. It was the Draught of the living death. Suddenly Lucius was on the ground. Harry was standing over him.  
“What were you doing!” Harry yelled, pointing his wand at him. I just stood and watched.  
“I was giving her some water!!” Lucius replied and I growled. This dreamland. I wanted out of it so I could kill him. Harry removed his wand and helped him up with an apology. I sighed. Once Lucius left, Harry went over me and held my hand. I felt the warmth like I always have. I want to wake up. I walked so I stood behind him.  
“I am right here Harry.” I whispered in his ear. He flinched. He heard me. He must have.  
“Draught of the living death. Lucius has been giving it to me. In my store cupboard there is an antidote. Give it to me.” I said, Harry stood up looking confused and left. 

Suddenly I was transported back to the lake. I fell to the ground. I looked up to see a little boy with Red hair and black eyes. I knew who he was immediately. I stood up. I couldn’t speak.  
“Marcus?” I said in surprise. The boy just looked at me and ran towards me and began to hug me. I wrapped my arms around him. He cried. And all I could do was wiper that it was going to be okay.  
“Don’t go!” Marcus pleaded, holding me tighter. Tears were streaming down my face.  
“I have to. I am so sorry. I have to go back and look after your sister Flora.” I replied, pulling away from him.  
“Flora?” He asked, He obviously didn’t know who she was.  
“Your half sister.” I replied, wiping the tears away from his freckled face. He looks so much like Lily. Harry’s genetics.  
“Why can’t I come with you?” He asks, his eyes again welling up with tears.  
“Honey, you died. You were just a baby. I couldn’t save you. I am so sorry.” I said through tears. He was stillborn. He was never alive, not in my world.  
“I will miss you mummy.” He replied before disappearing. I just sat on the grass crying before everything went dark. 

(Harry's pov)  
I poured the contents of the antidote down her throat. I had made sure to get Pomfrey. I heard her whisper in my ear. But I would have sounded insane if I told anyone. We waited by Sevira’s bedside for a whole ten minutes before she abruptly shot up and coughed. I gasped. She lay back down staring at me and Pomfrey. I smiled. She was back. I grabbed her face gently and smiled. Happy tears streaming down my face. She looked at me and gave me a small smile.  
“Welcome back to the living.” Pomfrey joked scanning her. Sevira rolled her eyes.  
“How unfortunate.” She said sarcastically, she was completely fine from what I could see. Pomfrey hit her head gently which made them both laugh. I just smiled.  
“You are in big trouble. You didn’t tell me you were pregnant.” Pomfrey scolded. Sevira just sighed and looked at me. I gave her a look that made her scowl at me.  
“Sorry” She apologised. She sat up slowly.  
“Before you ask. You are 5 months along and he or she is completely fine.” Pomfrey said. Sevira smiled but wasn't happy. I will ask her about that later. She tried to move.  
“Pomfrey, I can’t feel my legs at all.” Sevira said suddenly. I looked at her in panic. Pomfrey waved her wand over her. She looked down and looked angry at herself.  
“I should have checked it. I am so sorry. The bottom of your spinal cord has snapped. It means you are paralysed from the waist down.” Pomfrey said sadly. Sevira threw herself back and raised her hands to her eyes.  
“Are there any potions that can heal this?” I asked, grabbing Sevira’s hand.  
“No not yet. Although the potion masters at St Mungo’s are currently looking into it. Sevira, this will be cured, But you can’t live alone anymore. Harry or someone else will have to look after you meaning you will have to quit your jobs” Pomfrey said, sadly. I looked at Sevira who looked ridden with guilt.  
“I will look after you if you will let me? I don’t care much about my job” I replied, smiling gently at her.  
“No. I am not going to be a burden on you or anyone. I will get by on my own.” Sevira croaked. She looked heartbroken.  
“No, you are pregnant and you need me.” I replied looking at pomfrey who was just looking at us with a sad smile. Sevira looked away from me. 

I bought a cottage in Achnasheen. A quiet place in Scotland. I went there with Ginny and the three kids on our holidays. I remember feeding deer and going hiking. I bought out the cottage that was once an AirBnB and bought a car. If Sevira is in her wheelchair. It was best to have a car in case we wanted to travel. The cottage consisted of 5 rooms. One obviously will be a nursery and one will be mine and the other will be Sevira’s room. The spare room can be for any children if they ever want to visit. I drove into the driveway. It was a quiet journey. Sevira has been silent since being told she was paralysed a month ago. She has only said when she needed the toilet or was hungry. I got out of the car and grabbed the wheelchair and carried her till she was able to sit down. She didn’t thank me. I rolled my eyes. I knew she was upset and angry at herself so I let her be without getting angry at her. Lucius was put in custody for 4 years. It should have been longer but the ministry are still trying to rebuild itself so I let it slide. Draco and Narcissa were horrified and apologised profusely to us both. Sevira forgave them and I did as well. I opened the door and pushed her in. She could do it herself but I did it anyways just for the sake of it.  
“Here is the living room. It is massive. How many sofas does it need eh? It is joined into the kitchen. It has an out of tune piano.” I said pointing towards it. She looked around the room. I pushed her into each bedroom. She picked the bigger room which was fine.  
“I am envious of your room Sevira.” I joked as I moved her from the wheelchair to the recliner. No answer. I sighed and went into the kitchen. The views were absolutely stunning. I keep forgetting how beautiful it was. It was lucky that Hermione and Ron unpacked everything for us, I paid them of course. I walked over to the kitchen counter to find money with a note saying ‘Here is your money back you buffoon’. I laughed. I walked back through to the living room to see Sevira maneuvering herself into her wheelchair.  
“Are you needing any help?” I asked walking towards her. She held her hand out which told me she didn’t. She got in and wheeled into her room and shut the door. I sighed before checking the cupboards for food. Zero. I checked my phone which I bought in case of emergencies and looked for the nearest supermarkets. Ullapool which was 55 minutes away. I forgot that this place is in the middle of nowhere. I grabbed my car keys. I knocked Sevira’s door before walking in. She was looking out the window. I walked up to her and wheeled her to the car. If she wants to not talk then I won’t either. I put her in the car and drove.  
“Where are we going?” She asked from behind me. I looked at her through the rear view mirror.  
“There is zero food so we are going to ullapool to get some. It is 55 minutes away so I am going to put on the radio.” I said playing the radio buttons. Classical FM will just have to do.

“What is on your mind Sevira?” I asked as I took the empty plate from her and placed them in the dishwasher. She looked at me and back at the empty table.  
“Sit down please.” She requested. She coughed as I sat down.  
“When me and yourself went our separate ways years and years ago. I fell pregnant with your child. I was ashamed hence why I didn’t contact you. I am sorry. Well… It was a boy. I named him Marcus but he didn’t make it to full term, He made it to 27 weeks. He was stillborn. I wanted to tell you I did but at the time I heard about you and Ginny and I didn’t want to ruin that for you. When I was asleep in the infirmary. I saw him. I know it had to be my imagination but I just feel guilty.” Sevira admitted and sighed after saying it. I just stared at her. I had a son? Sevira looked at me with guilt in her eyes. I stood up and walked over to her. I placed my hand on her cheek.  
“What did he look like?” I asked as I wiped the tears away from her cheeks.  
“Uhh. Red hair like your mothers and my eyes. He was gorgeous.” She replied.  
“I am not angry. I understand.” I said as I let go of her face. She looked at me and smiled sadly. I looked at her.  
“Right in memory of our son. We will light lanterns tomorrow night. If that is okay?” I said. She nodded.  
“Is this why you have been quiet? I thought it was because you were stuck in the chair.” I asked, carrying her to the sofa. I sat beside her.  
“A bit of both but it was mainly about Marcus. I am sorry.” She said.  
“Nothing to be sorry for Vira.” I replied, smiling. In all honesty all I wanted to cry but I knew I have to be strong for the both of us.

2 months later, Sevira was in St Mungos. Her waters broke a month early. Which according to Pomfrey everything should be fine. I can only hope. I sat in the waiting area alone. I didn’t want to be with anyone else. Pomfrey walked out and I stood up.  
“Baby and mother are fine. You may come through now.” She said smiling. I smiled. Sevira requested for me not to be there. It was a C-section which was the safest option considering everything. I walked into the room to see Sevira smiling down to a bundle of blankets. I walked over. The baby already had black hair. The cutest wee thing. Sevira smiled at me. I kissed her forehead.  
“Boy or girl?” I asked as I couldn’t tell. Sevira looked at me and smiled again.  
“Girl.” She replied. I knew that the question whether the baby was mine was in the air.  
“Oh my god Sevira.” Robert came running in. Sevira tensed and So did I. I walked towards Robert who was now standing beside Sevira.  
“Get out. You are not invited.” I snarled at him. He looked at me and laughed.  
“It is my child. Potter. I can be here if I wish.” Robert said.  
“We don’t know that for certain.” I replied and suddenly wished I didn’t say that. Robert looked at Sevira and me and then had anger radiating off him.  
“You cheating Whore!” Robert yelled, hitting Sevira across the face. Sevira flinched but held onto the baby. I pointed my wand into his neck.  
“Get out before I do something I regret.” I warned. Robbery scoffed and quickly left. I shut the door and went straight to Sevira who had tears running down her face. Pomfrey came bustling in and smiled sadly.  
“Right, do you want to know who the father is?” Pomfrey asked. Sevira nodded slowly. Pomfrey waved her wand and smiled.  
“Congratulations on becoming parents to another child, Sevira Prince and Harry Potter. She is yours Potter.” Pomfrey said beaming. I sighed in relief. Sevira did as well.  
“Good. I am so glad.” Sevira replied and Pomfrey left us to it. I walked up and held my arms out. She was placed in my arms.  
“Have you thought of a name?” I asked, looking down at the baby girl who was sound asleep.  
“Meet Lyra Marisa Potter.” Sevira announced. I smiled. What a beautiful name for a beautiful baby. 

Guests came and went. We were visited by Hermione, Ron and the Malfoys with the exception of Lucius. We were even visited by Molly and Arthur Weasley who looked so proud.  
“Hello Little Lyra, I am your granny Molly.” Molly cooed. I just smiled at Molly and Arthur. They left and me and Sevira just sat in silence Knock. Knock. I looked over to see Ginny.  
“May I come in?” Ginny asked, smiling. I looked over to Sevira who nodded. She sat up.  
I nodded and Ginny came in with my three children. I beamed. My children.  
“Hello guys, meet your new sister, Lyra Marisa Potter.” I said introducing them to her.  
“Like the northern lights book written by Philip Pullman characters?” Albus asked as he leaned over the cot to see her.  
“Exactly, Have you read those books?” Sevira asked. Ginny stood beside me.  
“Of course. Who hasn’t?” Albus replied, smiling.  
“Me” Lily and James said in unison. We all laughed,  
“That is because you are both unintelligent dimwits.” Albus replied. Lily pointed and complained and James huffed.  
“Now Now. No one is a dimwit. I am sure Ginny will read it to you both.” Sevira suggested,  
“Or your stepmother can read it to you.” Ginny suggested, I looked at her.  
“We aren’t together Ginny.” I replied with.  
“I would love to read to them,” Sevira replied at the same time. I looked at her in surprise. Ginny gave me a knowing look. She gestured for me to follow her and I did. We sat together in the waiting room.  
“I am sorry for taking your children away. I was upset and angry. It was no wonder you cheated on me. I wasn’t the nicest wife. Will you forgive me?” She asked, looking at me.  
“There is nothing to apologize for. We were both bad in our marriage but I hope from today we will move one as friends and bring up our children.” I replied, placing my hand in hers. She is still the mother of my three children. I will always love her for that. She just smiled.  
“So met anyone new?” I asked, letting her hand go. She blushed and looked down.  
“I am dating Dean Thomas again. We are good” She replied, smiling. I smiled in return.  
“Good for you!” I said, smiling, We have both moved on. Well I am still single.  
“Sevira loves you, you know. I can see it in her eyes and in yours. Don’t be stupid.” Ginny commented. I looked at her and scoffed.  
“Let's get back.” I said, changing the subject. Ginny smiled and we walked back. We entered to see Albus and Lily snuggled beside Sevira reading Northern Lights by Philip Pullman. I smiled. Lyra was sleeping. For once everything seemed peaceful.


	11. Chapter 11

“Are you ready?” I asked Sevira who was sitting in her wheelchair holding Lyra. She smiled and nodded. I pushed her down the long white hall. Pomfrey came rushing towards us. I sighed and stopped walking.   
“Hello, I don’t mean to stop you but I have contacted a muggle hospital that is now offering an operation that will allow Sevira to walk again however with Sevira’s heart condition as it is such an invasive surgery. I may cause complications. It is your decision.” Pomfrey offered. I looked down at Sevira.   
“No. I don’t want to take the risk.” Sevira stated, Her grip tightened around Lyra. Pomfrey smiled gently and walked past us. I pushed her out of the hospital and into the car. Putting Lyra in the car seat. I got into the driver's seat and turned on the car. Sevira was looking at Lyra.  
“Right, home we go.” I said turning around to them and smiled. She smiled back. I turned on the car.

Weeks turned into months and months turned into a year. I walked down the hall to the living room to find Lyra playing with her blocks on the rug and Sevira sitting on the couch. Coughing. I knew she had a chest infection a month ago but she was still ill. I waved it off.   
“How are you Vira?”I asked sitting beside her. She looked at me and coughed covering her mouth with her hand.  
“I feel fine. You?” She asked, turning to look at Lyra. Lyra looked so much like her mother. Black hair, sallow skin. The only difference was that she had my eyes and needed glasses. I laughed at the thought. My other children came over to stay every other weekend. Flora on the other hand is still not allowed to see her mother. I wanna bash Robert’s head in. I notice Sevira looking sad. 2 years without seeing her child must be torturous.   
“Draco and Neville are coming over to pick up Lyra as we have a dinner booked at the hotel up the road,” I said, standing up to play with Lyra.   
“Are you taking me on a date Mr Potter?” She asked slowly, giving a mischievous smile.   
“Yes I am. If that is alright?” I asked back. She looked at me in surprise. I smiled. It was ginny’s idea. I gave in as she kept pestering me. 

“It is lovely here isn’t it?” I observed looking around the restaurant. The ambience of people talking was relaxing to me. Sevira looked anxious. I picked up the menu and looked at the options. I cleared my throat. Too many options.   
“Lyra will be fine Vira. I promise.” I said looking over the menu. She was reading hers.   
“What would you like to eat?” The waitress asked. I looked up and smiled.   
“I will have the fish and chips and just a white wine please.” I requested, smiling. The waitress turned to Sevira, Sevira was still looking at the menu.   
“I will have steak pie and red wine. Thank you.” Sevira requested, placing her menu down. The waitress smiled and took a glance at her wheelchair.  
“Yes, I am in a wheelchair. Is this an issue?” Sevira asked defensively. The waitress looked scared. Sevira was using her scary voice. Which I found funny. The waitress shook her head and walked off quickly.   
“You didn’t need to be mean.” I said, looking at her and smiling. Sevira scowled at me.  
“Well I hate being looked down upon.” She replied. I just sighed. She coughed into her napkin.   
“Nasty cough.” I observed. She just coughed again. This time it came out as a bark.   
“Yeah. It will pass soon I am sure.” She replied. I looked at her in worry. The waitress placed our food and drinks down and left quickly. Sevira just smiled. We ate in silence.   
“Why are we doing this?” Sevira asks. She looked at me and I looked at her.   
“Cause I really like you and I want to treat you.” I admitted. Sevira just scoffed.   
“I hate being in restaurants. If you wanted to treat me to something nice. Cook me dinner or order in. I want to go home.” Sevira complained. I scoffed.   
“Or you can just be grateful.” I replied, with annoyance. I drank my wine quickly.   
“I will be when there is something to be grateful about.” She replied with a scowl. I raised my hand and paid the restaurant and we quickly left. I let Sevira push herself down the hill. She should be fine. We got home. It was quiet. Sevira pushed herself into the living room. I just walked into the kitchen and started to do the dishes. I felt offended. I just wanted to do something nice but she is never grateful. Bad idea Ginny. I grabbed parchment and my Quill. And wrote to Ginny. I looked to see what Sevira was doing and she was looking through a cupboard. I finished my letter and sent it using my Owl. I walked into the living room to see a board game set up in the middle of the room. I sighed and sat across from her. She moved herself onto the floor. Trivial suit. My weakness.   
“What building is home to the London Philharmonic Orchestra?” I asked placing the card down on the pile.   
“Royal Festival Ball” She replied, quickly. I smiled and placed the colour pie in her circle. I rolled the dice and moved 6 times.   
“Which element is present on the 14th number in the periodic table?” She asked.   
“Silicon?” I questioned. Sevira looked surprised. I just smiled. She looked happy now. I should have gone with my gut feeling.  
“I am sorry for forcing you to a restaurant.” I said, waiting for her to roll.   
“I am sorry for being a bitch. Thank you for trying and I must admit. I really like you too.” She admitted not looking at me. I just blushed. I knelt towards her over the game and kissed her. She fell back taking me with her. We laughed.   
“Am I hurting you?” I asked in between kisses. She just looked at me like I am stupid.   
“I am paralysed from the waist down. I cannot feel a thing Harry.” She replied. I laughed. I just kissed her before sitting up and pulling her up into a hug. 

A month later and everything was normal, well normal for us. I got Lyra up and fed and turned the walk in shower for Sevira. I liked doing everything. It makes me feel like I have a purpose. Me and Sevira now share a room so the other room is just a spare. I put bunk beds in for the children when they visit us. I walked into the kitchen to see Sevira looking out the glass door. The view was stunning. Hills and a waterfall. I placed my hands on her shoulders. They were tense. I started to massage them.   
“I am going to take the operation. I want to be able to walk and to feel things,” She admitted looking at me in the reflection of the door. I stood and stared outside.   
“But there is a risk that it will kill you. Surely you don’t want to take the risk?” I said, looking over to see if Lyra was fine. She was playing with her blocks again.   
“A risk I am willing to take Harry, I am not wanting to be held back. I failed with Flora but I will not fail Lyra” She said, holding my hand on her shoulder. I sighed and closed my eyes.   
“We can’t lose you Vira.” I replied, images appeared in my head, funeral, raising Lyra without her.   
“You won’t. I promise. Have faith.” She soothed. I breathed and kneeled in front of Sevira. I took her hands in mine.   
“Okay, let’s do it. But only if you promise that when you can walk again, we go on holiday.” I requested, Sevira rolled her eyes and smiled.   
“Where to?” She asked.   
“Road Trip around the UK. Nowhere fancy but it will be fun.” I suggested. Sevira thought about it and nodded. I kissed her. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders.   
“Well at least once I can feel below my waist. We can finally have sex.” She said into my shoulder. I laughed.   
“I don’t care about that Vira.” I replied with a kiss on her cheek.   
“Well I do.” She commented. I just rolled my eyes and stood up. Wiping my hands on my trousers.  
“Of course you do.” I replied before walking quickly into the living room. I can only hope everything will be okay. 

“Everything will be fine Harry. Go home with Lyra, I will call you once I am out of surgery.” Sevira said, grabbing my hand. She was lying on the bed, Lyra was standing beside me, her eyes looking up at Sevira in worry.   
“Okay, promise you will call.” I said letting go of her hand and picking up Lyra. Sevira smiled gently.   
“Be good for your daddy okay?” She said in a high pitch of voice. Lyra nodded and smiled. I watched as she was put under anesthesia. And left. The drive home was quiet, Lyra was babbling to herself. I put on the radio. Classical. Lyra only seemed to like classical. She would cry when I put on pop music. Sevira agreed. She hated pop music. I smiled at myself. I pulled into my driveway to see a woman standing at the front door. I beeped my horn. She turned around. I jumped. She looked exactly like Sevira. I got out of the car and grabbed Lyra from her backseat. I held her as I walked towards the woman.   
“Can I help you?” I asked, squinting my eyes as the sun was in my eyes.   
“Hello, I’m Katie Prince. Sevira’s cousin.” She introduced herself. I smiled and gestured to her into the cottage. I placed Lyra down for a nap and walked into the living room. Katie was just sitting. I made some tea and gave her it. She thanked me.   
“Sevira is currently in surgery. So you can stay so she can see you. I would appreciate the help.” I suggested. Katie smiled at me.   
“No. I am here to talk to you. Something I doubt Sevira would have told you.” Katie replied, placing her mug on the coffee table. I took an intake of breath.   
“Did she mention to you about Marcus?” She asked me and I nodded sadly.   
“Ah good. She seems to have told you then.” She said in surprise. I scoffed.   
“Even if she didn’t tell me. I don’t appreciate you telling me this. She has the right to tell me or not.” I commented. I was annoyed.   
“And do you think that telling me this when Sevira is in a life threatening surgery a good idea?” I asked, looking at her with annoyance. She looked down.   
“Sevira is a very secretive person and I thought she would not tell you. I apologise.” She said quietly.   
“Well she did. And I am glad she did. You should have faith in her.” I suggested, anger disappearing. She meant well after all. She just nodded and smiled.   
“So Lyra Marisa Potter? You named her after the characters off the Northern light book?” She asked, laughing slightly.   
“No, Sevira did. I love that name though so I don’t care.” I replied, smiling at the name.   
“Those books were her favourite growing up. She would have named Flora that if Robert allowed it. Nice man Robert. It is a pity they divorced.” She quipped.   
“He abused her. He was certainly not a nice man.” I responded, I tensed up.   
“A few slaps doesn’t mean he abused her. She is just dramatic.” She replied. I stood up and scowled at her.   
“Get out of my house. She was punched, hit and choked. She was screamed at and insulted constantly.” I barked, pointing at the door.   
“You believe anything Harry. She wasn’t abused.” Katie said, standing up. I grabbed her shoulder and threw her out of the house. She fell onto the stones.   
“Don’t come back. You horrible women.” I yelled as I shut the door with a slam. I leaned against the door until I heard crying from Lyra’s room. I sighed and went through. Lyra was standing on her mattress in her cot. She raised her hands to be lifted up. I did. I held onto her tightly. I opened her curtains with one hand and sat on the rocking chair which was in front of the window. Lyra calmed down and just fell asleep on me. I kissed her black raven hair. Lyra, Albus, James and Lily are the best things that have ever happened to me. Recent years and especially today, I have begun to truly appreciate the life I have with my children. I never noticed how good it is to be a father. Watching your child grow up is so wonderful. I stood up gently and placed Lyra back in her cot. I will wake her in 30 minutes. I walked into the living room to see three letters on the coffee table in front of Sherlock. I opened one.

‘Dear Dad,  
We hope Sevira is okay! We would have come over but Mum told us no. So we are writing the letter. We miss you!! Please please please! Reply telling us that Sevira’s okay! And tell her we love her! And that she has to read the Subtle knife to us when she comes home!!. We love You guys!  
Love from,  
Albus, James and Lily xxx’

I smiled at the letter and placed it down on the coffee table. The one unexpected thing that occurred was that my three children love Sevira. Sevira was shocked when all three of them told her they love her. A memory I will always remember. I looked over at the photos of all of us together on the wall. I smiled. I picked up the other letter. 

‘Dear Mr Potter,  
We are writing to inform you that Lucius Malfoy has charged you with assault. You are therefore ordered to take the witness stand on the 15th of November 2020 at 4pm at the ministry of magic. Please do not respond to this letter. You will be punished if you do not show up.   
Sincerely,  
Kingsley Shacklebolt.’

I scowled at the page. Assault! My arse! I pushed him to the ground to protect Sevira and with good reason considering that he was poisoning her. Why now? Why can’t he leave us in peace. Why did he poison Sevira? The questions I want answered. I picked up the final letter. 

‘Dear Harry,  
We have heard from Kingsley that you are going up for trial. This is bombaric! They cannot do this. It is not fair. You will win this Harry. If I have got anything to do with it. However, I will not be able to judge this trial due to having a connection to you. So Kingsley will be standing in minister for this trial however I will be with you in the room as your friend. Ron will be joining too. He wants to help you and so do I. We love you Harry. If you need any help with baby Lyra, then please contact us. We are her godparents after all. 

I heard that Sevira is getting an operation. That is fantastic news! I am so happy for you and for her. Hopefully she gets on her feet soon!   
Love from,  
Hermione Granger, Minister of Magic (Your friend) x’

I smiled at the letter and placed it on top of the others. I just stared at my hands. Lucius hasn’t changed. Still trying to play the victim. I looked at the time and went to pick up Lyra from her cot and fed her. It was 6pm and I still haven’t got any news about Sevira. I had the urge to go to St Mungos but she would kill me on sight if I turned up. I have known Sevira since I was a child when she was Severus but She isn’t him anymore. She is Sevira. Yes, sometimes I see Severus in her personality at times. I remember when I was making dinner. Tomato soup. She was telling me everything I was doing wrong. I stirred the wrong way and she took over. I was pissed at her then but now It is one of my favourite memories. It makes me smile. She makes me smile. She is the love of my life. How corny that sounds but I didn’t care. We may be officially together for a month but it has been longer than that. We loved each other for years. We just never acted on it. I sat watching Lyra play with her toys when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I looked at it to see Sevira calling. I beamed and answered.  
“Hello Potter? This is Pomfrey. It took me ages trying to figure out this phone but Sevira is fine. She is just recovering but she has requested to not see you. She wants to come home herself. Something about not wanting to cause any bother. She will be transported home tomorrow morning.” Pomfrey said, hanging up before I could answer. It was probably an accident. Lyra looked at me in curiosity.  
“Your mummy will be home tomorrow.” I said, clapping. She smiled. 

The next day, I woke up at 6am. Changed the bedding. Cleaned the bathroom. Fed Lyra. Fed myself and waited on the sofa. I constantly took glances out the window. I turned to see a black car pull into the driveway. I couldn’t see who was driving. I rushed to the door and opened it. The car stopped and the door opened to reveal Sevira stepping out of it. I rushed over to her, so I could help.   
“No Harry, I can walk. With the surgery and some potions I can walk without any pain. Look.” She said walking over to me and jumping. I laughed and pulled her into a hug. I was just happy to see she was okay.   
“I want to see Lyra,” She said, giving me a quick kiss. She rushed in and picked up Lyra with ease. I just grabbed my camera and took a photo. Sevira smiled at me. I was just relieved she was okay.   
“Mummy loves you Lyra!” She said spinning her around, This is something Sevira was never able to do. I filmed it. I want to look back on this and remember everything, I never did with my other three children. 

Once Lyra was down to sleep, I poured some wine and gave it to Sevira who was standing looking out towards the darkness. I stood beside her and took her hand.   
“I forgot how tall you were Vira” I commented she just laughed and took a sip of her wine.   
“I was thinking of going on that road trip you suggested tomorrow? I was looking for a hotel and we can afford it. I checked.” Sevira suggested, looking at me. I just looked down and went to get the letter. I let her read it. I could see the anger on her face.   
“That blonde bastard!” She yelled casting a spell so It wouldn’t wake Lyra.   
“Next week. So we will have to go after, if you wish it” I replied sadly. Sevira binned the letter.   
“We will take Lyra to Ullapool tomorrow. Just to get out of the house. I want to be out as much as possible. I can walk now and I want to use my legs as much as possible.” She started, walking to the living room. I followed suit sitting beside her.  
“Okay we can do that if you wish. Right, I am off to bed.” I stated. I kissed her before walking off.   
“I will be through soon” She replied as I left. She seemed happy enough.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Just letting you know that I will be going on a small break (1 week at most). I have got into a low again. I have Depression and at the moment I am extremely unwell mentally so I will see you in a week or so. Kisses xx

(Sevira’s pov)  
I sat on the sofa once Harry went to bed just staring at the wall. I took out a bottle of pills from my bag that I brought back. I took them. I felt guilty for not telling Harry that I am not okay. I am able to walk but now my heart is failing me. Pomfrey said that there is nothing they can do apart from hope the medication will somehow cure me. Unlikely. I will have to continue my potion making. I want to live to see Lyra get married. I want to live long enough for Lyra to remember me. I hate myself for not being well enough. It seems never ending. One thing after another. It isn’t fair. Well Life isn’t fair. I closed my eyes and tried to think happy thoughts, Impossible. I looked at the other letters that were on the coffee table. His other children are the cutest. Flora… I cursed myself. I forgot about Flora. What will happen to her once I am gone. I calmed myself and walked into the bedroom. I got dressed into a big t-shirt and slipped into the bed holding onto Harry tightly. I didn’t sleep well that night. 

I woke up early. Around 5am. I quickly walked into the living room and took my pills before I was seen. I went for a quick shower and brushed my teeth. I decided to wear my white dress that went just past my knees. And put my hair in a ponytail. I walked into Lyra’s room and woke her. I got her dressed and fed and left her in the living room to wake Harry. Harry was already awake when I walked in.  
“Right, be ready to leave in 10 minutes.” I stated, quickly leaving. I packed Lyras bag and got in the car waiting for Harry to join. Harry got in the passenger seat. He looked at me and Lyra.  
“A bit early.” He stated, putting on his seatbelt. I turned on the engine and started driving.  
“Well, let’s make a day out of it huh?” I said, keeping my eyes on the road ahead.  
“Are you okay?” He asked, he looked concerned from the corner of my eye. I sighed and turned on the radio.  
“I am good Harry.” I replied. I hummed Chopin as it was playing. 

I pulled Lyras pram from the boot. And placed her in it. She was wide awake. It was only 9am. I looked around at the loch and the green hills. It was a beautiful day.  
“There is not really anywhere we can go with a pram Vira.” Harry pointed out. I looked around. Of course he was right.  
“Well we can just wander around. Look at all the houses. Have you got your camera?” I asked. He looked at me suspiciously. He knew something was wrong. He is half right. He showed me his camera and I smiled. We walked down the road, I looked at all the pretty white houses. They were cottages with a stone pathway. It was just gorgeous. I don’t know why I hadn’t come to Scotland earlier, well apart from Hogwarts. Harry took pictures of the view and I think of me from behind as he stopped. I just sighed. The air smelled like grass and lavender. A smell I will most certainly miss. Stop thinking like that Sevira. I may have years left. It is a pity really. I had hoped to have another child. This time hopefully a boy but that won't happen unless I take the risk of dying during childbirth. Which would be selfish of me. I need to think of the 5 children even if three of them aren’t truly mine. I kept walking until I had to stop, Harry stopped and looked at me. I was out of breath.  
“Are you alright? Let’s go home.” Harry suggested placing his hand on my back. I just shook my head.  
“I am fine, just out of breath is all. I am okay now.” I replied, continuing to walk but leaning more heavily on the pram in front. I looked down to see Lyra sleeping. All that girl does is sleep. But it was cute so I left it be. It must be stressful to be a 1 year old. I laughed to myself. Harry walked in front just looking at the views around us. I checked my watch. It was 12pm. No wonder I was out of breath. We had been walking around for 5 hours with an occasional stop.  
“Harry!” I shouted over pulling into a grassy area. Harry came running over. I let Lyra out her pram and let her walk beside us. She was an early walker. She started walking at 9 months. Smart girl. Must be like me. I hope not.  
“We will let Lyra wander for a while before going. Will you please go and grab the car?” I asked, giving him a kiss. He nodded before running down the road. I opened my bag and took one of my pills. 4 a day I was allowed. So I will have one before bed. Lyra looked at me with curiosity over her face. I gave her a smile as I swallowed it dry. I stood as I watched Lyra play in the grass. A car pulled up beside me. I grabbed Lyra and Put the pram in the boot. I sat beside Harry as he drove down the road home. 

I lay in bed, as Harry decided to make Lunch. I was having chest pain which I was told was normal. Lying down helped the pain. Is this what it is going to be like? Staying in bed. What a life. Harry knocked before coming in. He sat on the bed beside me. He placed his hand on my forehead.  
“You aren’t okay.” He stated, looking at me sadly. I didn’t look at him.  
“I am fine, I just have a headache.” I lied. Harry held the pills up to my face. I looked at him guilty.  
“How long?” He said, looking at me with sad eyes. I looked away towards the mirror.  
“Pomfrey said I have at least a year however, by the way I am feeling, I fear it will be a few months.” I said, tearing up. Harry just sat in silence.  
“We can never be happy can we?” Harry said, looking at me with tears running down his cheeks.  
“I am happy Harry. I have you beside me.” I said taking his hand. He leaned his head on my chest. I just put my hand in his hair petting it,  
“Marry me?” He asked, I looked down at him.  
“What?” I asked, wanting to confirm that was what he asked. He sat up looking at me.  
“Marry me Sevira Prince.” He said again. I just looked at him in shock.  
“Yes.” I whispered. He just gave me a sad smile. There was a knock on the door. I just lay there. Pomfrey came bustling in with her wand. She looked anxious.  
“Right, Sevira. You are one ill woman.” She commented as she waved her wand over me. I just stared at the ceiling awaiting the bad news.  
“Well, It wasn’t your operation that caused this. Your doctor gave me the wrong information.” She said. Harry’s face lit up but I didn’t show any emotion. There has to be a but to this.  
“However, you do have TB. TB is a contagious disease that affects your lungs and other organs. I am so sorry Sevira. This is an extremely late diagnosis. It has spread to your kidneys and heart. I am afraid that this is incurable. I recommend Lyra to stay with her godparents for the foreseeable future. We don’t want to put her at risk. She hasn’t got it I have checked and Harry is fine. Harry, you will need to wear a mask from now on, Keep these windows open.” She said, sadly. She looked at Harry who put the mask on which she gave him. I lay there in shock. I hate this. She looked at me before leaving quickly. I will never be able to hug or kiss Harry or Lyra anymore.  
“Get Lyra out of here.” I ordered before laying away from him. He nodded with tears streaming down his face making the mask wet. Why am I always ill? I must be such a burden. I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked more ill than I looked before. I coughed. 

Harry’s trial was successful. Lucius was caught lying and was sent to Azkaban for 5 more years. Good news within all this madness. Harry moved into the spare rooms. He only saw me when he thought I needed food. I slept. I walked when he was asleep. Into the living room. Into his room. I watched him sleep. It became a routine. My cough became worse and worse throughout the weeks. By my calculations, I had a year at most. What was the point of living when I don’t get to see my two children or be a proper partner to Harry. I walked over to my window and looked out to see Harry picking out weeds. I knocked on the window. He looked at me and smiled. He walked up to the window and smiled gently. He blew a kiss before going back to gardening. I reached up to open the window fully.  
“You can use magic for that!” I shouted but ended up having a coughing fit.  
“But where is the fun in that!” He shouted back. He laughed. I smiled. He looked at me again and walked towards me but stopped 2m away from me.  
“I am bringing Lyra home tomorrow. I decided she should be here. She can’t hug you or be in the same close proximity to you but I think it is best for us all to be together.” He suggested. I looked at him and smiled.  
“That is a good idea Harry. It was unfortunate we couldn’t get married.” I said, sadly.  
“Oh, we will get married, Vira. Trust me” He said, smirking.  
“But how? You can’t kiss me.” I replied. He looked at me like I was silly.  
“I found a potion that Draco is brewing right now. It is a temporary heal. It will make you better only for a day. We can only use it once.” He admitted. I looked at him.  
“When?” I asked. I was impatient.  
“Tomorrow.” He admitted. I smiled. I will be able to hug Lyra without any consequences.  
“Well I am going to lie down.” I said, shutting the window and stumbling to my bed. I fell asleep. This time until dawn. Harry stood over me in his mask. I jumped out my skin.  
“Sorry, here is the potion. Drink it. We have until 5am tomorrow before it wears off. “ He said, handing me a cup. I drank it. It was sour. It was awful. I drank it. Every last drop. Harry took off his mask and kissed me. It felt nice after a month of separation.  
“Can I go for a shower?” I asked him before this got out of hand. He grumbled and let go of me. He helped me up. I walked into the bathroom, without locking the door. I turned on the shower and felt the warm water touch my skin. I washed my hair, I heard the door open and someone wrapped their hands around me. I turned around slowly. Harry kissed me while pushing me against the shower wall. He wrapped by legs around his waist. I moaned. He kissed my neck and down my body. He removed his hands from the wall and pressed them against my breasts. I kissed his neck and moaned. He moaned as well.  
“I have been waiting so long for this” He moaned as he kissed my neck again.  
“Then get on with it.” I ordered in his ear. He turned the shower off and lifted me to the bedroom and shut the door. 

“I got you this white dress. It isn’t much but It will do.” Harry said, pulling out a dress. I smiled and grabbed it off him. I went into the bedroom to change and do my hair. I wish it could be like this forever. Not dying. Even though the potion made me not contagious temporarily. I am still in pain. My chest is sore. But I will not tell Harry. It will ruin our perfect day and the one day where I can be around my family. I walked out of my bedroom to see Harry standing at the over side of the room. Minerva beside her. The room was transformed into an aisle. With white chairs which led to where Harry and Minerva were standing.  
“Hello Mummy. Harry asked me to walk you down the aisle.” I turned to see Flora staring at me. I grabbed her into a hug.  
“How are you here?” I asked, holding her tightly. She hugged me back.  
“Papa, let me come.” She commented, smiling. She offered me her arm and I took it. Music started playing and me and Flora walked down the red aisle. I looked and saw Hermoine and Ron who were holding Lyra and with their children. I saw the weasleys. And Harry potter’s other children. It was small but I liked it like that.I reached out for Harry’s hand and he took it. I leaned down to kiss Flora’s cheek before watching her take her seat. I looked at Harry and smiled. Minerva spoke, and we waited to say our vows.  
“My Vira. My love. I believe that I have waited for years to marry you. It may have looked like I didn’t love you but trust me I did. I don’t want to make these vows too long. But I love you so much. My children love you so much. I know we only have a day that we can be with each other but trust me I will never leave your side. I know we don’t have long left but I will try to make everyday worth it. I promise to love you for the rest of my life. You are the love of my life.” He vowed, tears ran down my face. I could hear sniffling from behind me.  
“My Harry, I really don’t think I can top those vows. I promise that as long as I live, I will listen and be there for you even if I can’t touch you. I wish I was not ill but I guess life loves to throw us curveballs at every turn. I promise to love you, your children, our child and I promise to keep you safe.” I vowed, looking at him. He was crying. Minerva was crying which was something I have never seen before. We said our I do’s.  
“That was beautiful, You may kiss your bride.” Minerva said, wiping a tear from her eye. Harry kissed me and we turned to see the small audience cheer. I walked over to Lyra and Flora and pulled them both into a hug. I felt pressure on my bag, Albus, Lily and James were hugging me as well. How could I tell them to get off me? This caused me pain but I didn’t care.  
“Thank you for all coming. So children. Would you like me to read the Subtle knife? I heard from Harry that you wanted me to read it to you?” I asked, standing up, holding Lyra. They all nodded. I smiled. Ron and Hermione just cried and smiled. The Weasley left to give us alone time. Everyone left apart from The children. Harry made an indoor tent and cushions. We snuggled in as I began to read to them.

They all fell asleep. I got out of the tent and saw Harry looking at photos. I walked over to him to see us getting married. I smiled. I suppose these will be the last photos we will all take together. I made sure to get a photo with all the children. I leaned my head on his shoulder.  
“I am sorry that I am such a fucked up woman.” I apologised. Harry looked at me and placed the photos down on the table.  
“You are perfect.” He replied. Kissing my head. I just snuggled into him. I looked at the clock and saw that it was already 7pm. 10 hours left.  
“Is the potion supposed to cause pain?” I asked, sitting up. Harry looked at me in confusion.  
“What do you mean?” He asked, looking concerned. I looked at the tent and back at him.  
“My chest is sore.” I replied honestly. I didn’t want to lie to him anymore. He just looked away.  
“How long has it been like this?” He asked. I looked at the clock.  
“Since about 5pm. I didn’t want to cause concern.” I replied, fidgeting with my hands.  
“That means the potion has worn off.” He replied, sitting away from me.  
“I was near the children.” I said, panicking.  
“They should be fine. They had a vaccination but Pomfrey wants you to stay away from them just in case. It can still be passed on. Depending on the health of the child.” He replied, grabbing my face and kissing my cheek. I pulled away and walked to the opening of the tent.  
“Put Lyra to bed for me please.” I asked. Harry picked her up and went to put her into her room. Flora woke up and went towards me. I stepped away from her.  
“Flora. I am really ill. You know that?” I asked, She nodded sadly.  
“I am not getting better. You can’t come near me. But I love you so much. You can still come and see me but you have to stand outside and talk through the window. I am so sorry.” I continued, tearing up.  
“I love you mummy. I will come by every week. I promise.” She promised, tears falling from her eyes. I couldn’t wipe them away. Robert came through and smiled gently before picking Flora up and leaving. The three children left crying. I stood in the middle of the room. It felt like everything around me was frozen. I couldn’t move. Harry came through in his mask. He walked over to me and held me into my room. It should be our room. I got dressed into my white nightgown and slipped into bed. Harry stood and looked at me. I looked at him.  
“I need to write my Will so can you please ask Griphook to come over so we can talk?” I asked.  
“Not right now. In a few weeks.” He replied by looking around the room.  
“We may not have a few weeks Harry.” I replied with annoyance.  
“We will.” He said before quickly leaving. Once he left I casted a muffliato and burst into a loud sob. I couldn’t help but cry. I just wanted to be with my children and with Harry but I am stuck here. I lay on the bed staring up at the ceiling. I turned to check the time. 5am. I coughed. This time blood came flowing out. I gasped. Looking at my now blood soaked duvet. I coughed again. I got up and left my room. It was still dark. I walked into Harry’s room like I always have done and saw him and Lyra sleeping in the same bed. I let tears fall as I watched them sleep. I quickly left and went back to my room. I didn’t bother to change the sheets. I slept until I could hear walking outside. I could hear muffled voices. I walked to the door and leaned on it. Pressing my ear on the door. I heard my cousin and Harry speaking. It sounded like she was apologising for something. I opened the door and stumbled into the living room. Katie and Harry looked at me. I noticed Lyra playing on the rug.  
“Sevira, You shouldn’t be out of bed. You may catch a chill” Katie came up towards me much to Harry’s reluctance.  
“Why are you here? Here to look at how sick I am Katie?” I sneered. Harry told me what had happened once I was in the hospital.  
“I just came to say sorry and that I will be staying a few houses away.” She replied, smiling sadly. I sighed. I just looked at Harry and Lyra before walking into my room without replying. I closed the door and was instantly sick into a plant pot. Harry came running in without his mask. He looked at the bloody bed and the sick. He just lifted me up without a word and placed me in the bath which was beside the walk in shower. He sat on the edge of the bath and washed me. I felt too weak to even move. Great, I can not do anything myself apparently. I was lifted out of the bath and placed on clean sheets. Katie must have done it.  
“I am sorry.” I said, quietly. Harry just sighed as he got me dressed.  
“Nothing to be sorry for love. I vowed to look after you. I love you” He replied tucking me into bed. I just smiled gently before coughing. I covered my mouth. He left shortly after that. I lay there coughing and coughing. I felt like I was choking but I knew I wasn’t. This is my life now.


	13. Chapter 13

6 months later and I am still here. Unfortunately for Harry. It isn’t like I want to die. I want to live as long as I possibly can. Flora and Lyra don’t deserve to live without a mother. Flora was lucky to have me for 17 years. Lyra has only had me for one not even that. The fact she will be 2 in two months scares me. How many birthdays will I get to see? 2? 5? I can only hope. The past 6 months have been horrendous. I kept on coughing up blood. Puking. I seemed to have a constant fever. Harry had to constantly change bedsheets. Wash me. I tried to do it myself but I ended up puking down the hallway. Pomfrey concluded that I have to stay in bed with the occasional walk. I didn’t listen to her. Every night, I would walk into Harry’s room. Harry and Lyra seemed to stay together at night. I hated it. I walked. I slept up and that was the routine. I would sometimes walk outside depending on how cold it was. 

I lay in bed sweating. The windows were open but I was still warm. I got out of bed slowly standing up trying not to fall as the room was spinning. I coughed as I dragged myself to the big window which looked onto the garden. I was able to open it fully. I looked out to see Harry sitting on the grass with Lyra. They were constantly there but I still felt alone. I could watch and even talk to them but there was no point. Whenever I talked I was either coughing or sick. I just watched them from the window. Lyra was walking around. Her raven black hair was in pigtails and she was wearing mismatched clothes. No. I knocked on the window. Lyra came running towards the window and Harry followed suitly.   
“What is with the Mismatched clothes?” I asked, trying not to cough. Harry looked at Lyra and back at me.   
“What is wrong with it?” He asked, looking confused as ever. I just smiled. I wanted to laugh but I knew that if I did it would have consequences.   
“Pink and red do not match Harry. Please change the clothes. There is a pair of black leggings and a white shirt. I will order some new clothes for her.” I said, coughing slightly. Harry just sighed. Lyra placed her hand on the window. I knelt down slowly. I put my hand over hers on the glass. I miss the hugs and kisses. Harry smiled sadly. He lifted up Lyra and went inside. I could hear him pass the door and into Lyra’s nursery. I stood up but fell back to the floor hitting my head on the bed frame. Harry came running in. He forgot his mask. He came straight to me and helped me up. I held onto him. I was on my feet. He let go of me. I wrapped my arms around him. He tensed but relaxed after a couple of seconds. He held me for as long as I needed it. I let go and apologised. He just kissed my hand. He helped me get into bed.   
“Can you please give me your laptop and your bank card? I need to order a few things.” I asked. Harry nodded and brought his computer and his card to me. He quickly left after that. I have learned the ways of muggle technology throughout the past 6 months. Turns out when I am gone Harry will just forget to buy clothes and other stuff for Lyra. I have already ordered enough clothes for her until she is 16. But I need to order Harry some things. I went onto amazon, I ordered his birthday presents for the next 20 years. Well it feels like it. I placed the laptop on the side of my bed. I lay there in my own sweat and bloody bed sheets. Staring up at the ceiling. I sat up as I coughed. More blood came out in speckles. I slowly got up. Screw what everyone says. I want to be with my family. I stumbled out my door and into the living room. Harry and Katie were sitting on the floor playing with Lyra. He looked up and gave me a concerned look. I leaned against the bed frame.   
“Sevira, you are supposed to be in bed, you will catch a chill!” Katie came towards me grabbing me by my arms.  
“I want to talk with my family.” I said, pushing her out the way. I took two steps forward before puking all over the wooden floor. I knelt on the cold floor as sick came flowing out of my mouth. Katie placed a bowl in front of me but I missed it completely. Once finished, I looked at Katie who was standing over me. I hit her, making her fall on her back. I looked towards Harry who was shocked and Lyra who was hiding behind him. Was I really that scary?  
“Take me to my room.” I ordered, glaring at Katie. Katie Placed the bowl away from us and tried to help me up. I shoved her off. She held me until I got into my bed. She tucked me in. She didn’t seem to care if she caught TB or not.   
“I can play with Lyra you know. I don’t need you to take that on.” I sneered, looking at her. Katie stood beside my bedside.   
“I understand.” She said, looking at me with sad eyes. I looked at her before coughing.   
“I will come back with clean sheets Sevira.” She continued. I just scoffed as she left. She came back with clean sheets. Harry came through and lifted me up. He held me in silence as Katie changed the bedsheets. Days like today I felt like such a burden. He placed me gently on the bed. Katie left leaving me and Harry alone. I looked at him. He picked up the laptop and left. I could tell I scared him but I didn’t care.

What kind of wife was I? I can’t even hug or kiss my husband. What does that make me? These thoughts swirled around my head as I stood at the end of Harry’s and Lyra’s bed, they were both sleeping. I looked at Lyra. Poor soul, having to live with a mother who she can’t even be near or even hug. I missed it. At least Mrs Coulter in the Northern Lights trilogy got to be near her daughter. Something I will never have. Harry will. He will give her a happy life I am sure of it. I know it. Without me, they will thrive and get on with their lives. I am a burden to them. I will always be, as long as I live. Growing up, I always thought that this only happens in books or films. But it happens in real life to real people and it ruins them. The constant cough, the constant fever, the constant headache and joint pain. I am surprised I can still walk around at night. I slowly made my way back to my bedroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. Disgusting. I was extremely underweight. Not like I wanted to. I just couldn't do anything without throwing it back up. My hair was disheveled and in knots. My neck was swollen and my face was extremely pale. More than it normally was. I know my death is close. I can feel it edging it’s way closer to me every minute of every day. I don’t want to leave them but maybe it will be better for them. I can’t be selfish. But is it selfish of me to welcome death like an old friend and leaving my children. I was divided. I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling. Which seems to be a normal occurrence. Maybe if I wished hard enough. I will be cured. Maybe if a God did exist, she would spare me. Let me live. But that would not be fair. We don’t get to decide who lives or dies. I wish we had that power. But we do decide what people remember of us. Like the song in the musical Hamilton ‘Who Lives, Who dies, Who tells your story’. Who will tell my story? Harry? Hopefully. I wanted to live to see Lyra grow up into a strong woman. But I won’t. I will never see her get married or have children. I will never see Flora get married or fall in love. I wasted the days alive. Not appreciating everything that I have. I am so lucky to have the family that I have. Caring. Sweet. Loving. I would not ask for anything else. I am not wanting to let go of this life just yet. Not yet. 

“That behaviour yesterday was unacceptable Sevira. You had no right to hit her.”Harry scolded as he stood at the door. I didn’t look at him. I didn’t want him angry with me.   
“I had every right.” I replied coldly. I could hear Harry sigh and move towards me slightly.  
“You did not. She is trying to help” Harry urged, I looked at him and glared. Coughed.   
“I don’t want her here where she can meddle.” I sneered. I hated the women, she was taking my family away from me. Harry just sighed and pinched his nose in annoyance. I scoffed.  
“She is not meddling Sevira. She has been extremely good to us.” He replied.  
“What has she done? It isn’t like I can see what she is doing.” I said, coughing.   
“She has looked after Lyra when I couldn’t. She has cleaned. She has helped you when you have your really bad days. She has done so much.” He replied, taking his glasses off.   
“Since you seem to be protecting her, Marry her. I tell you what, I will officiate it.” I sneered.   
“What? You are acting like a child Sevira. I suggest you change your ways before…” He stopped mid sentence. I just coughed and scoffed, looking at him.   
“Before...What? I die? I am sorry I am dying Potter! I didn’t ask to be in this much pain every day. I know I am a burden on you. Believe me I do.” I yelled causing me to go into a coughing fit. Blood and mucus spluttered out of my mouth. Harry tried to come closer to help but I stopped him with my hand. I looked at him. He was crying. I can tell by his red eyes.  
“I- you aren’t a burden Sevira. I apologise for making you feel like that but you should apologise to Katie as what you did was unacceptable.” Harry replied, quietly.   
“Get the fuck out before I say something I regret Potter.” I sneered. Turning away from him. Harry left, shutting the door quietly behind him which suggests Lyra is having her nap. I knew what I did was wrong. But they are my family not hers. They are mine. 

I sat on the side of my bed, waiting. Much to my dismay, Katie had to help wash me. I asked why Harry couldn’t do it. But apparently he is busy. He has been busy most of the time recently. I haven’t seen him in a month only when he passes the window. Katie came through and let me lean on her as we walked together to the new installed bathroom which now had a bath. It had a walk in shower before but it became a nuisance, I tried to protest by saying I could wash myself but Harry worried for my safety. Katie helped me take my black nightgown off and helped me into the bath. I felt exposed and embarrassed that she had to see me in such a state. She didn’t seem to care. She poured water over my head from a jug and washed my hair. I couldn’t look at her. I was still angry that she was taking over.  
“So, how are you feeling?” She asked, pouring more water on my hair.   
“Well, I am currently dying, but I am fine.” I replied sarcastically. Katie just sighed.  
“Well at least you are bowing out of this shit world before me is an achievement.” She replied  
“I have children who I don’t want to leave behind so bowing out of this world is not what I want to do” I replied, coldly. Katie grabbed the soap and gave it to me. We agreed that I could wash my body myself as long as she was in the room. It smelled like strawberries. Katy looked away as I washed myself. At least I had some dignity left.   
“Understandable. I am sorry if you feel like I am meddling with your family. I am only trying to help.” Katie said. I looked at her.   
“If you were sorry, you would leave.” I replied, getting all the soap off me. Katie turned around to face me and gave me a sad smile.   
“I am sorry cousin. I can’t leave.” She replied, looking at the tiled floor.   
“Why not?” I asked, looking at her and back at the water that had no bubbles left.   
“I probably shouldn’t say this but Harry is not coping. He is not eating, he is extremely depressed. I think that he is grieving. Even though you are still alive. I think that he is struggling to cope.” She said sadly. I looked around the room sadly. I didn’t know what to say. I felt bad for this, I know it is not my fault that I am ill but I am to blame for his misery. Katie helped me out the bath and put me into a clean white nightgown. She placed me back in bed and left quietly. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel bad. I felt awful.

“Harry!” I shout from my bed, my throat hurts from shouting his name. The door opens to reveal Harry in his mask. I looked at him and smiled. I held out my hand. He took it gently. I pulled him closer. I sat up and looked at him. I didn’t know how to start.   
“Katie told me that you are not feeling like yourself. And I would like to apologise to you for my recent behaviour. I am still your wife and I have to be a good wife no matter how long I have left. Harry, come and talk to me. I am here and I will listen. You are not alone. I suggest you get into counselling or group sessions as a way to try and cope with all of this.” I said sternly, Harry tightly squeezed my hand and looked at me. He knew I was right.   
“You do not have to apologise Vira. Your behaviour is normal. You are fighting to stay alive. It is understandable. I promise I will get help.” He said, letting go of my hand. We stared at each other in silence. It was nice to see him. But it is time for me to be honest with myself.   
“Harry… Promise me that you will love and be there for Lyra and Flora. And please do not wallow in sadness. I know it will be difficult to begin with but I will always be beside you. I promise.” I said, sadly. I knew my time with them was almost up. It was like a darkness coming slowly over the hill.   
“I promise Vira. Please don’t leave me anytime soon. Promise me? I can’t lose you.” He pleaded, kneeling on the floor beside me and taking my hand.   
“I promise.” I replied quietly. I don’t know if I can keep that promise.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter of Sevira's POV!!!

~4 months later ~  
I stared up at the white ceiling just thinking about my life and how shit it is. The only light in my life is Harry and my children and my step-children. Albus, Lily and James came by a month ago to see me from the window. Probably wasn’t the best idea as Lily started to cry and Albus as well. I didn’t think this would affect them as much but turns out it does. I don’t know what to do.   
“Sevira, please come with me.” Harry said, pulling up my old wheelchair. The one thing I wanted out of was the wheelchair only to be put back in it. I nodded and Harry lifted me up into the chair. I coughed, covering my mouth with my hand. He pushed me out the back door. We turned a corner to see my family in an outdoor tent. Flora, Albus Severus, James Sirius, Lily Luna, Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley and their children. They all clapped and smiled at me. I smiled.   
“What is this?” I asked, coughing. I couldn’t go near them for obvious reasons so this felt awkward.   
“We all decided to throw you a surprise get together.” Harry said, sounding very pleased with himself. I shifted in my chair. I pushed myself up so I could stand. Harry held me by my shoulders. The crowd stared at me with what looked like sympathy. I hated it.   
“I want to thank you all” I coughed “for coming. I truly appreciate seeing you all right now, it's just splendid….” I felt the rise of vomit in my throat. I covered my mouth as I tried to keep the sick down. Harry noticed and placed a bowl in front of me. I grabbed it and fell onto my knees and vomited. Blood. That’s new. I heard gasps from the guests. I wiped my mouth with my sleeve. I held my arm out and Harry helped me up.   
“Maybe we should take you to the hospital Vira.” Harry suggested. He held me up by my arms.   
“No, I am fine Harry. I am sorry everyone. Now just enjoy your day here.” I finished as I was placed into my wheelchair. Everyone just looked uneasy. Harry got rid of the bowl of sickness or blood, I couldn’t tell. Flora walked over to me. Harry tried to stop her from getting closer.   
“No, It is okay.” She said, kneeling in front of me, grabbing my hands. Harry went to talk to Hermione.   
“Look at my beautiful 17 year old.” I said, placing my hand on her cheek. She leaned into my touch.   
“Look at my gorgeous mother.” She replied, smiling gently. I just laughed slightly.   
“Honey, I look like I have been dragged through a hedge backwards.” I replied. She just scoffed. We just stared at each other in silence. I was just thinking about how brave she was  
“You are one brave woman. I am sorry that I am not going to see you reach your 20s. You are an intelligent, gorgeous and inspiring woman. I am so proud of you.” I said, proudly. Flora had tears running down her cheeks. I swiped them away with my thumb.   
“Please don’t talk like that Mum. You aren’t going to leave me.” She shook her head in denial.   
“I will not leave you, I promise even when I am gone. I will never leave you ever.” I promised. Flora just held my hands tighter. Tears fell down my cheek like a small waterfall.   
“When I am gone...Flora listen to me. When I am gone, promise me that you will look after your baby sister and make sure Harry is coping. I want you to move in with them. Harry will look after you both. Tell Robert that this is my wish for when I am gone. I am sure he will understand. Promise me” I said, looking at her. She just cried.   
“I promise. You aren’t leaving us soon are you?” She asked. I looked away. I can feel the darkness over the hill getting closer and closer. How can I answer that?  
“I don’t know honey. I love you. Always remember that.” I said, truthfully. Flora just stood and kissed my cheek teary eyed.   
“I love you too mummy.” She replied. I just smiled gently at her. She pushed me closer to the tent.   
“Right photo!” Harry yelled. Everyone cheered. They all stood behind me. Harry picked up Lyra. I wanted to hold her. Just once, Harry looked at me and looked divided. He reluctantly placed Lyra on my knee. I held her. I kissed her cheek and smiled at the photo. Magic. I keep forgetting we are wizards. We seem to do things the muggle way these days. Harry came over to get Lyra but I held her tighter.   
“Please, a little longer. Harry.” I begged. Harry just looked divided again.   
“Fine! Ten minutes.” He said before walking over to Ron. I just kissed her black hair.   
“Mummy loves you Lyra. Remember that. I know you will unlikely remember me.” I said, sadly. I just talked to her before Harry smiled sadly. I let him take her. I looked around me and watched people talking to each other. It was nice to see everyone. 

The “party” was going as smoothly as it could go. I looked at everyone and was grateful for the people in my life. I felt the tickle in my throat which wasn’t new to me. I coughed. But I couldn’t stop coughing. I felt like I was choking.   
“Sevira!” Harry shouted, running over to me. Everything went blurry. I fell forward and everything went dark. Was this it? Was I dead? No, I was just sleeping I think. I woke up in a bed which was not my own. I slowly opened my eyes to see the white fluorescent ceiling. I groaned and coughed. I turned my head to see Harry smiling at me. He looked relieved. He took my hand.   
“I am so glad you are okay.” He said, breathing a sigh of relief. I just smiled. I looked around.   
“What happened?” I asked. I looked at him.   
“You had a coughing fit. But it was severe causing you to lose oxygen. Pomfrey has said this will happen regularly.” He replied,sadly. It will happen often…   
“How long does she think I have left? Tell me.” I asked. Harry looked at the door.   
“Not long. She thinks you have a month, even weeks left.” He truthfully said, He had tears in his eyes. I just stared at the ceiling. He took my hand. I just held onto him tightly. I didn’t know what to say.  
“I want to go home Harry. I want to spend my last weeks with Lyra.” I pleaded.   
“You can’t be around her.” Harry replied sadly.   
“In fact she can Harry. I have given Lyra a new vaccine which means she is very unlikely to get the illness. It has been tested and has proven positive results” Pomfrey said from the door. It was nice to see her.   
“Does that mean that Harry can get the vaccine?” I asked. Pomfrey nodded and walked over to Harry who turned up his blue sleeve so Pomfrey can get to his skin. I just stared and watched Harry flinch once the needle was in.   
“Don’t be such a baby Potter.” Pomfrey joked as she took the needle out. I just laughed. I will be able to see and be with my family until my last breath.

Arriving home felt different. I was in my wheelchair again. Harry kissed my forehead and pushed me through the doorway. I could hear the voices of multiple children.   
“Have all the children and loved ones received the vaccine?” I asked.   
“Yes they actually formed a queue outside St Mungo's. It was quite the scene.” Harry confirmed. I just laughed. We entered the living room to see Flora and Lyra chasing each other across the living room floor. Flora stopped when she saw me which led Lyra to hit into her. They both laughed. I just smiled. Flora jogged up to me and wrapped her arms around me. I just sighed and held her tightly. I can feel tears down my back. I just rubbed her back until she was able to let me go. She kneeled in front of me and wiped her wet cheeks dry. From the corner of my eye I could see Lyra stare at me with confused eyes.   
“Has your father not told you that it is rude to stare Lyra?” I said turning my head to face her. She just waddled over to me and lay her head on my knees. How is that comfortable? Flora picked Lyra up and placed her on my knee. Harry was in the kitchen.   
“Flora can you please take us to the kitchen. I don’t trust your Step Father alone there.” I asked, smiling. Flora was obviously too sad to talk but I wish she did. She pushed us into the kitchen. Harry was decorating a cake. It was chocolate with golden sprinkles. I rolled my eyes. Harry placed the cake in the middle of the oak table. He noticed us and smiled.   
“May I ask why you have gone to the effort of baking a cake?” I asked. Harry looked confused.   
“It is Flora’s birthday today love.” He said, raising his eyebrows slightly. I forgot about my own daughters birthday. I stood up slowly and walked to her. I wrapped my arms around her tightly.   
“Happy Birthday my love. I am so sorry I completely forgot.” I said, kissing her cheek.   
“Don’t worry Mum. I don’t care. I just want to spend today with you.” She replied, smiling gently.   
“What a heart of gold you have.” I complimented. Flora just blushed. Harry walked towards us with a small bottle and spoon. He explained that this medicine will help reduce pain and will help me be able to walk without the pain. I took it quickly. It tasted disgusting to say the least. Harry gestured for us all to sit at the table. Harry placed Lyra in her highchair and we all sat down eating the cake. 

“I have some news mum.” Flora said while walking over to me and sitting beside me on the brown sofa. I smiled at her. My throat was sore so it was difficult to talk. A week had passed since I had arrived home. We had a flurry of visitors. Too many but I had no right to complain. They were all here to say goodbye apparently as that was what Harry said to me in one of our many arguments. We seemed to argue a lot over the past week. I put it down to the fact everything has changed and I wanted everything to be perfect for Harry when I wasn’t here anymore.   
“Do you know Bill Weasley?” She asked, I gave her a look of ‘Obviously’. She just rolled her eyes.   
“Well, He has got me a job at Gringotts and I am starting tomorrow. Isn’t that exciting?” She asked, her smile beaming. I looked at her and looked away. This was her way of saying she had to leave. I hoped it wasn’t the last time I would see her. I looked back at her and smiled.   
“I… am… so… proud… of… you. Do...me...proud.” I croaked out. Flora smiled at me.   
“I will mum. I promise you. I will be visiting every weekend. I love you.” She said wrapping her arms around me. ‘I love you too. My sweet child’ I said in her head. Being a Legilimens had it’s perks I suppose. Flora quickly left after that. Off to experience the world. Even if it did not have me in it. She was able to leave Hogwarts early due to passing every exam with top marks. I am proud to call her my daughter. Harry walked in from putting Lyra down for a nap. He sat beside me and opened his book. He knew I was unable to talk today. Much to his and mine annoyance. I was unable to ask for an apology for last night’s argument. Which was about what he will need to do when I am gone. Apparently it was a sensitive topic. I mean he isn’t the one who is dying here. I stood up slowly and made my way to the kitchen. I was sore today and the medicine did not work at all. I knew my time was close. I can feel the darkness that was once rolling down the hill now enter our beautiful home. I was leaning on everything as I walked into the kitchen. I think Harry knew that I didn’t have long left. He was there. Always. I felt arms around my waist. And I just broke down in tears. Harry pulled me to the ground and held me tightly. He whispered sweet nothings in my ear in a way to calm me down.   
“I am so sorry.” I managed to say, the pain in my throat seemed to shift. Harry held me tighter.   
“There is nothing to apologise for Vira. You have nothing to apologise for. We all knew this was coming.” He soothed. He kissed my forehead.   
“No. I am not leaving. I don’t want to leave you and my children.” I quietly said, my tears were now creating a puddle on the floor. I don’t think they were just my tears. I looked up at Harry who had tears streaming down his face. I placed my hand on his cheek and wiped them away.   
“I don’t want you to leave me.” He pleaded. I wrapped my arms around him now and held onto him tightly. I knew that I would have to go soon. I knew it was for the best for all of us.   
“As long as you live, Harry. I will never leave you.” I promised. Harry just cried into my shoulder. I was crying too but I had to be the strong one now. It took me a while to realise that Harry was pretending to be strong for all of us and no one was there for him.   
“I remember when you first entered the great hall in your first year. Your black curly hair with those ridiculous round spectacles. I saw a young boy who was nervous but strong and you know what. You proved to me that you are brave for fighting that mountain troll and extremely intelligent when defeating Professor Quirrell. I wish I was there for you then but I am here now. I am here. I will always be here.” I said, remembering all his school years.   
“I am far from brave Vira. I am scared. I am frightened. I don’t want to live without you.” He said, now sitting up. We sat staring at each other. I faced away to cough. Blood again. I wiped it up with my sleeve. Disgusting but I didn’t care.   
“And you will not live without me. You are forgetting about the one beautiful person we created. Lyra. She is a part of me so take comfort in that. You will have to be strong for her and for Flora.” I replied, smiling sadly.   
“I know and I will be for both of us. I promise.” Harry whispered. I just held onto him tighter.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sad scenes ahead

(Harry’s Pov)  
After our conversation on the kitchen floor with tears and kisses, Sevira just became worse and worse. One day she was walking and talking and looked like someone who just had a cold and one day where she was unable to walk, in searing pain and unable to talk and coughing up more blood and mucus. Today was one of those days. This time she didn’t want to get out of bed, she did not want to talk or eat. I tried to get food down her but she would just turn away. She would constantly change her positions in bed as she said she was uncomfortable. Days and days past, and she would not move. Her breathing was getting shallower and shallower. I feared we only had days left if that. I grabbed the phone and contacted Flora. She will want to be here for when her mother passes. Katie Prince was already here taking care of Lyra. I wanted to stay by Sevira’s bedside. I needed to be there. 

“I love you.” I repeated, staring at Sevira who was staring up at the ceiling. No response. One. Two. Three. Four… I was counting every breath she took within 30 seconds. It was getting lower and lower every day. “I love you too.” She croaked out. She was looking at me. I could see the fear. I can see her thinking about death. I held her hand. “It is okay. You are okay. I am here.” I soothed. I could see her eyes glisten over with tears. And I took a deep breath knowing that I had to be strong for her. I broke down once. I will not again. I want her to leave her in peace and not in worry of me and my wellbeing. I know she worries so much. Tears fell from her eyes onto the now yellowing pillow, she did not allow me to wash it. She complained it would not smell of me. Apparently I smell like a rotten egg. I wiped the tears away with my thumb. She is cold. “How about going for a bath. Katie will help you?” I suggested. She nodded slightly. I left while starting the bath. “Katie, I will take Lyra and you will give Sevira a bath.” I said, taking Lyra from her arms. “Okay.” She simply said. I rolled my eyes. I walked into the living room and placed Lyra in front of the television and I went into the kitchen to finish the tomato soup. She will have to eat something. 

Minutes later. “Harry!!” Katie shouted from the bathroom. I turned the stove off and ran in the direction of the bathroom. I walked in to see Sevira puking her stomach contents up on the tiled floor and Katie trying to grab a bowl and she did not want to move her. I waved my wand and placed the bowl in front of her and cleaned the sick. “Lyra is alone Katie. Go to her.” I stated. Katie scurried off and I was left to watch my wife in pain. I patted her back. The sick kept coming and coming. It never seemed to end. It did a few minutes later after a coughing fit from her. “I am so sorry, I should have left you in bed.” I stated but she just fell limp on the floor. This cannot be it? Can it? I lifted her limp body in my arms. She was still breathing even if it was barely there. I placed her on clean sheets and owled Madame Pomfrey. I sat beside her and I felt someone barge through the door. I moved to the corner as Madame Pomfrey checked her over. “Well?” I asked. She just sighed and looked at me sadly. She walked up to me and placed her hands on me. “I am so sorry Harry, It will not be long now. I suggest getting the loved ones around. Preferably today or in the next hour.” Pomfrey suggested. I looked at her and at Sevira. “I don’t want her to go Poppy.” I pleaded as tears fell from my eyes. “I know. Neither do I.” She said sadly. Hugging me before leaving in a sad silence. I owled Flora and Minerva. I did not want my three children to witness me having a breakdown. 

All of us were sitting by Sevira’s bedside. Sevira didn’t seem to wake up. I kept saying her name but nothing. “I don’t want them here.” Sevira croaked out without opening her eyes. Everyone gave a sad sigh. “Who do you want here?” I asked gently. “You. I don’t want my children to see me go.” She whispered out. Flora walked up and kissed her head. “I love you Flora. I will always be with you.” She said, opening her eyes slowly. Flora cried into her shoulder. Sevira lay her hand on her back weakly. I just looked at Minerva who was just crying. I stood up and took her into my arms. “I am so sorry Harry.” She said into my shoulder. In all my life I have never seen her cry. And I wished I didn’t. “I want to thank you for everything you have done for sevira.” I said, looking at her. She just sniffled. “Minnie, come here.” Sevira croaked out. Flora left the room. She was sitting on the bench outside. I walked out to see her. “You can stay here if you wish.” I suggested. Flora wiped her nose on her red jumper. “I will stay. I want to say thank you for loving and caring for my mother. We do not deserve you.” She stated, looking at me with sad green eyes. I couldn’t help but wish she was my daughter. My real daughter. I loved her just the same as Lyra. I smiled and walked back into the bedroom. “Look after Harry.” Sevira said, Minerva laughed. “I will, I promise. Now I will see you soon Sevira. Remember you will be teaching potions next year.” She said. I guessed she was trying to imagine that Sevira wasn’t leaving us. Maybe it would be better for her to cope. “Oh, I am excited to be around those gremlins again.” She played along. Minerva kissed her cheek before apparating away just leaving me and Katie and Lyra. I lifted Sevira up and adjusted the pillows and sat her up. Katie placed Lyra on her lap. Sevira just smiled and Lyra looked confused. “My little Lyra. My sweet Lyra. Mummy will have to go soon. Yeah I know. But promise me you will look after your Dad and all your siblings. Mummy loves you so much.” She whispered. Kissing her cheek. Lyra laughed and kissed her cheek back. Katie smiled sadly before leaving the room. Katie did not seem like the one to say goodbye. I lay beside her. Sevira looked at me and slid down so we were level with each other. 

“You know I love you right.” I said, place my hand on hers. She just smiled. “Yes you say it every minute of every day.” She replied gently. I can tell she is fighting to stay alive. I can see it in her eyes. “Oh so you heard me?” I wondered, raising my eyebrows mockingly. She just gave a small laugh before coughing. She lay back down and closed her eyes. I counted her breathing. One. Two. Three. We are missing a second. I lay my head on her chest. She placed her hand on my hair. “I love you too. I will always love you.” She whispered, slowly. I raised my head to look at her. She was opening her eyes but quickly shutting them. “I love you too.” I said, reaching to place a kiss on her dry lips. She kissed me back slightly. Losing energy. “Always.” We both said at the same time. Tears fell from our eyes. She placed her hand on my hair and pushed me to lean on her chest. I let my mind go to the first time we met. To the 2004 pandemic. To her in a wheelchair. To the birth of my daughter and to the life we led not knowing it would so abruptly end. I didn’t want it to end. I never wanted it. I remember one day a few months ago, I went to church and prayed. I prayed for a miracle. A miracle that would save my wife and the mother of my children. Why won’t the world let me have happiness? I deserve at least that. I guess not. 

One. Two. 

I sat up and kissed her head, her cheek and her lips. I looked at her. Her eyes were closed but her weak hand was pressed against my cheek. She was gorgeous. Her raven black hair. Her hooked nose. She thought it was ugly. I thought otherwise. Why must she leave me this way? Why must she leave me at all? I guess it was her time. Her job was done. She saved me. That was all she had to do to fulfil her promise. She was done. I knew she loved me. That much was obvious but I believe her body knew that her job was done even if she did not want it to be. “I love you.” She whispered again weakly. “I love you too.” I replied knowing that I will never stop loving her. She will always be my wife. My life. My love. I didn’t fully comprehend that saying goodbye would be this painful. The aching in my chest. The feeling that my heart is breaking into tiny pieces of glass. The fear of the unknown. What will happen once she is gone? Will I just move on? No, I couldn’t. I don’t think I will ever move one and I don’t want to. She was and is the love of my life. Nothing even death will change that. 

One.

Eleven year-old me would never have imagined marrying his greasy potion professor but I would not have it any other way. Marrying Sevira was one of the best decisions of my life even if I knew it would end quickly before it even fully began. I don’t think I would have been happy if I had never got to be with her. She is brave, smart and most importantly loving. She never fully showed it but I knew from her glances and kisses towards me. She tried her best. She gave her best fight but obviously it was not enough. I looked at her. She tried to keep her eyes open. She wanted to stay awake. I knew her fight was over. “Let go, honey. I love you so much” I said, through the streaming of tears. I put both of my hands on her cheek. “I love you -” She trailed off. 

Zero

I lay my head on her chest, hoping for her to come back to me. “No. I changed my mind. Come back!” I pleaded into her chest. She wasn’t there anymore. My wife was gone. I felt alone. I felt like my world had exploded in front of my eyes. Everything around me seemed to disappear. I didn’t care how loud I was screaming and crying for her to come back to me. I knew it was pointless to do so but I did not care. Why should I? I felt the sadness, the grief and the anger in my chest. I am angry for the world allowing this to happen. Why did it have to take the love of my life? The mother of my child? I felt someone touch my shoulder. I turned to see Hermione looking at me with new tears coming from her eyes. I looked at her before lying on my dead wife’s chest. I didn’t want to let go of her. “Come on Harry. It is time for her to go. Let her go.” Hermione said gently. I shoved her hands off and held onto Sevira’s lifeless body. Hermione placed her hand on my back. I knew she meant well. “I am not letting her go.” I croaked out. Tears still fall from my eyes. I could see Ron stand at the doorway. He looked heartbroken. He walked over to me and lifted me up. “LET ME GO!!” I screamed, kicking him but he never let me go. Pomfrey rushed past me and locked the door behind her. Hermione exited quickly. Ron let me go. I ran straight to the oak door and banged on it. Hermione grabbed my wand from me. I ran outside and banged on the glass. Pomfrey looked at me sadly and waved her wand, the curtains fell closed. I screamed in agony on the stones. I wanted to be with my wife. Hermione came running out and wrapped her arms around me. I held onto her tightly as I sobbed. Ron hugged me as well. I knew that this is what real grief felt like.

It felt like hours before we let each other go. We all stood up. Hermione grabbed my hand and Ron grabbed my other. I turned to see Pomfrey come out with tears in her eyes with something floating in a white covering. A hand fell. It was Sevira. My legs buckled to the ground. I couldn’t bear this. I didn’t want to live without her. Hermione knelt down beside me. And held me as we watched Pomfrey apparate away with my dead wife. Lyra came waddling out towards me. She looked happy. I didn’t want her to be. Her mother has just died but I knew she would not know any better. How will we live without her?


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm still alive!

“How about come and stay with us Harry, At the Burrow?” Ron suggested, as I stood up but was leaning on Hermione. “Katie has said she will take Lyra until you are sorted. Flora has already gone back to London. I don’t think she wanted to be here when her mother passed.” Ron continued. He seemed to ramble on much to the annoyance of his wife. I nodded weakly. Ron grabbed my waist before apparating. Hermione was collecting my things. I stood outside the door of the Burrow. I felt like I was a teen again apart from the agony that was held within my chest. Molly spotted me and Ron standing. She rushed out and wrapped her arms around me tightly. She smelled of bacon. Like I always remembered. “Oh, Harry dear. Come in. We have just started having our dinner. You must be starving!” She exclaimed with a forced smile. I knew she was trying to act normal around me. I walked in quietly to see Percy, George, Charlie, Bill, Arthur, and Ginny. There were no children or partners there. “I thought that it was best to just have us here tonight. Like all time sake?” Ron suggested. I just smiled weakly. I looked over at Ginny who was looking at me with guilt and sadness. Arthur wasn’t his cheery self. It was awkward. Molly handed out food but I wasn’t hungry. I couldn’t stomach anything. Molly didn’t give me anything but a glass of water. She always seemed to know. Like a mother would. I smiled at her. “So, Are you still in Romania Charlie?” I asked, trying to take my mind off of everything. Charlie looked at me with a mouth full of food. He swallowed quickly. “No, I came home earlier this month. I wanted to come back home and work with my father.” He replied, giving me a weak smile. I turned to Ron. “Why did you not owl me? I would have loved to have known.” I asked. Ron looked at me anxiously. “I didn’t think it was a good idea since, you know everything that has been going on.” Ron answered, eating his food as quickly as possible. I just nodded. I guessed he was right. 

Hermione came through the door with my large suitcase. I stood up to help as she seemed to be struggling. “Thank you Mione. I truly appreciate it.” I said, giving her a quick hug. I just wanted to be with my wife but I knew I would never see her again. Not until I die. I sat back down. “So, Mr Weasley how is the ministry?” I asked. Arthur looked at me excitedly but looked down once he looked at Molly. “It has been good. I have finally figured out the function of a rubber duck.” He stated with a mischievous smirk. “Please enlighten me.” I replied. Ron shivered. I looked at him. “Right. Right. Muggles use Rubber ducks for hunting. What they do is that they tie this rubber duck to the end of a bit of string and try to catch their food.” Arthur said, confidently. I just laughed. Everyone looked at me. “What? I am allowed to laugh.” I started with a glance at Molly who was gently smiling. “No, I will tell you Arthur. Rubber ducks are used in baths. They are used as toys that are played with by young children. Lyra has them in her bath all the time. One time, Sevira, bought a batch of 500 rubber ducks on Amazon. I should bring some over.” I continued. Arthur looked more confused. “Amazon? Like the rainforest?” Arthur replied with the most confused look. Ron burst into laughter, spluttering his food over his plate. Molly moaned and the table burst into bursts of laughter. So did I. For one second I forgot. 

I walked into Ron’s old room. Hermione and Ron transfigured the drawer on the other side of the room into a bed. I would sleep in Ron’s old bed and they both would sleep on the transfigured one. I lay on the bed facing towards the ceiling. I had forgotten how orange this room was. Molly seemed to love the colour orange. So do I but I couldn’t smile. Usually coming here is my second home but It doesn’t feel like that anymore. Sevira was my one and only home and I have lost that. I have lost everything apart from Lyra. How was I able to cope with Lyra without her. I suppose I had done it myself for the past year but it didn’t feel like it. I knew I could talk to Sevira if I was worried about anything. Who was I supposed to talk to now? I feel like I have no one. No one to hold, No one to kiss and no one to seek comfort in. The bed beneath me felt cold. I knew I would be unable to sleep. I heard Hermione and Ron quietly enter. They were probably expecting me to be asleep. I grabbed my wand and cast a lumos so they were able to see. “Harry! You're awake!” Hermione jumped in fright. Ron just laughed. “Can you not sleep Harry?” Ron asked, giving me a sad smile. I shook my head and looked down. I could feel the tears swell up in my eyes. I felt embarrassed to be like this in front of them. I felt a pair of arms hold me, I looked up to see it was Ron. He got under the duvet with me and held me what felt like all night. “We are here for you Harry. We both Love you.” Ron whispered as I lay in his arms crying. Hermione hugged me from behind. And kissed my cheek. We all lay there on the double bed. It was not big enough but Hermione extended it. We all held each other. It felt like it was just us in the world. 

The day after was not any easier than the day before. I got up, well tried to untangle myself from Ron’s and Hermione’s legs and arms. I walked down the creaky stairs and into the kitchen. I looked at the cereal. It made me feel sick. I walked outside and looked across the grass. The gnomes were back. Silly things, Sevira would have made a spell to get rid of them that was for sure. I am not smart enough to think of it. I closed my eyes and felt the gentle breeze on my face. “Good Morning Harry.” I turned to see Molly Weasley standing beside me with a small smile on her face. “Good morning Molly. Thank you for letting me stay.” I replied. Molly scoffed. “You can stay for as long as you wish. You can move in if you wished Harry” She said gently. She grabbed my hand and held it. We both looked out onto the sunrise and the grass. “Those pesky gnomes are back. We only degnomed a day ago.” Molly complained. I squeezed her hand before letting go. “I will do it after everyone has woken up.” I replied, smiling at her. “No! You are grieving. I will not allow you to do such a thing.” Molly refused. I just looked down. “I may be grieving but that does not mean I cannot be helpful.” I suggested. She stared at me in deep thought. “Alright fine. But you have to eat something. We need to fill you up” She concluded, walking into the warmth of the burrow. I followed suit. 

I offered any help but she waved me off. She was rushing about as if the whole of Devon was coming for breakfast. I just sat at the table watching. I heard footsteps from above. I couldn’t tell who it was. George came bouncing down the stairs. “Good morning you beautiful Wizards. Breakfast nearly ready?” George said, excitedly, sitting beside me. He was tapping his fingers off the wooden table. I chuckled at his choice of greeting. “Good morning George” I greeted, giving him a small smile. He looked at me and wrapped his arms around me. “You're squeezing me too hard” I wheezed as he held onto me tightly. He let go and looked at me with sad eyes. “Do you want to help me get rid of all those gnomes?” I asked him. George glanced out the window and groaned. “They are back! I will help as long as you play quidditch with me later.” He offered. I nodded. I have not played quidditch in years. Molly placed bacon sandwiches on the table. She then placed the plates on the table and shouted up the stairs. I managed to eat something much to my reluctance. 

Getting rid of the gnomes was a piece of cake. I wished it would make me feel less heartbroken. This heavy heart was difficult to carry. It seemed. It wasn’t long after getting rid of the gnomes that George and Ron came out with brooms and a quaffle and a bludger. I smiled slightly. Charlie and Bill came out with their brooms. “Right, teams.” Ron started looking at all of us. Ginny went to visit the children. So we were a team member down. “Right, Me and George and Percy verseing you and Charlie and Bill.” I said. Everyone nodded and went to opposites of the field. I waved my wand to create two goals on each side. I chose George cause I knew he was a fantastic beater. Ron was a fantastic keeper. I was a seeker so I was practically useless without the snitch. Charlie blew his whistle. And we went up into the cold air on our brooms. The wind blew through my hair. I felt free when I flew. Like everything in the world just stopped. Me and George scored higher than the three who seemed to struggle. I just laughed. 

The game ended hours later, after Ron took a quaffle to the head by George which meant immediate disqualification which meant that Bill, Charlie and Ron won. By accident. We won technically. We walked in laughing but we stopped once I saw Pomfrey sitting on the worn away sofa. My smile faded as I walked towards her. “Poppy, What can I do for you?” I asked trying not to think about my dead wife which proved to be difficult. “Maybe this isn’t the time Poppy.” Molly inquired, looking at me with worry. “No it is fine. What is it?” I asked. Pomfrey sighed and fidgeted. “We need to talk about Sevira’s funeral. She had requested it to be a small gathering. She did not say where she wanted to be buried so I will let you decide.” Poppy said, with an anxious sigh. I clenched my fists. Funeral? I forgot about that. How can I decide this? Hermione grabbed my hand and we sat down across from Poppy. “Godric’s Hollow, I want her to go beside my parents. It is what she deserves.” I said, sighing. My chest ached as I thought about my wife in the muddy ground and not with me. “How many people?” Poppy asked. I looked around at everyone. They looked as if I was about to explode in front of them. “19 people. I will write you a list. Thank you for doing this Poppy.” I said gently. I smiled slightly. I wrote her a list:  
Draco Malfoy  
Neville Longbottom  
Scorpius Malfoy  
Poppy Pomfrey  
Minerva Mcgonanagal.  
Ron Weasley  
Ginny Weasley  
Charlie Weasley  
Bill Weasley  
George Weasley  
Percy Weasley  
Arthur Weasley  
Molly Weasley  
Albus S Potter  
Flora Prince  
Robert (I forgot his second name)  
Lily Luna Potter  
James Sirius Potter  
Katie Prince & Lyra Potter

I folded the paper and gave it to her. Hermione squeezed my shoulder before walking out, She wiped her eyes as she left. I just smiled sadly. “I want the funeral to be on the 31st of July.” I stated. Pomfrey put the list in her pocket. “That is your birthday Harry.” Ron stated. I nodded. “I know. I want to celebrate my wife’s life on a day that we were supposed to be together.” I sighed as I spoke. “It is also next week.” Pomfrey quipped as she stood up. I nodded. “I will see you next week Harry, now good evening.” Pomfrey said before apparating away. At that moment. I felt the earth below shake. I sat down quickly. Ginny came through the door with three of my children. I wiped the tears away before facing them. They smiled at me. All of them are all grown up and I feel like I have missed out on everything. I opened my arms and they all wrapped their arms around each other.   
“I am so happy to see you guys.” I said, sighing.   
“We loved Sevira. I am so sorry dad.” Albus said.   
“I know you all did but she isn’t in pain anymore. That is what matters in the end.” I said, sadly. It was true. She was at peace. What more could I want for her. Doesn’t mean I won’t miss her.   
“I miss her.” Lily said, sadly. I just held onto them tighter.   
“I know, I do too. But she loves you all still.” I said trying to comfort them. They may have not been her children but to her they still were hers.


End file.
